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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin -
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin -
Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
George Carlin -
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin -
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin