Joke Quotes
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Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time. Eternity is a moment, just long enough for a joke.
Hermann Hesse -
if she had ordered me to throw myself down then, I would have done it! If she had said it only as a joke, said it with contempt, spitting on me--even then I would have jumped!
Fyodor Dostoevsky
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I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of... certainly of our household.
Scott Pruett -
I did many other things before I ever got into the movies. I've been in so many businesses, it's a joke. All of them totally unsuited to me. Selling used cars. Running a club in London.
Sean Connery -
The U.S. Army is the biggest joke the world has to laugh at. It is the army of liars, backstabbers, fools, and bullies. The few good sergeants are getting out as soon as they can, and they are telling us privates to do the same.
Bowe Bergdahl -
The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we with Andrew Ridgeley were two guys really making asses of ourselves.
George Michael -
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine.
Edgar Allan Poe -
You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline.
Cass McCombs
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
Brad Williams -
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.
Martin Luther -
Fashion has become a joke. The designers have forgotten that there are women inside the dresses. Most women dress for men and want to be admired. But they must also be able to move, to get into a car without bursting their seams! Clothes must have a natural shape.
Coco Chanel -
Rapping was a joke, but the music helped me break out of my shell.
Lil Xan -
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
Hermann Hesse -
It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
Wilson Bethel
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Similarly the animal psychologist, Aristophanes, accidentally discovered the world's first joke while inquiring into the hitherto mysterious motivations of pathway-traversing fowl.
George Pendle -
By no means was I trying to offend anyone in their organization. It was just something funny for the guys to laugh at in the locker room. They're our rivals, and I apologize if I offended anyone, but it was just a little joke.
Alecko Eskandarian -
Any time you can be with like-minded people, laughing or crying over the same joke or the same scene... For me it's therapeutic. You just feel a little less alone on the planet.
Michael De Luca -
Civil disobedience presupposes willing obedience of our self-imposed rules, and without it civil disobedience would be a cruel joke.
Mahatma Gandhi -
It's natural to feel jittery around new people. But sometimes you can get over your jitters if you make a joke. So when the Swedish housekeeper brought her breakfast on a tray, Charity said something cheeky about eating Lady Margaret out of house and home. But the big red-faced woman took no notice at all. So then Charity had to look totally relaxed and unconcerned as she enjoyed her breakfast in bed, which was easy enough after the first bite. The spooky Swedish housekeeper really was a fabulous cook. And Charity believed believed in looking for the best in people.
Elizabeth Jane Howard -
We always joke that our road crew will have to wheelchair us up onstage soon because this is what we do. This is what we love to do. This is what God put us on earth to do until the day we take our last breath.
Johnny Van Zant Lynyrd Skynyrd
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost -
Sometimes, magic is like that. It lands on your head like a piano, a stupid, ancient, unfunny joke, and you spend the rest of your life picking sharps and flats out of your hair.
Catherynne M. Valente -
A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.
Michelle Wolf -
My teammates know I’m down to earth. I’ll joke with them. But when it comes to basketball, I try to be serious about it.
Chamique Holdsclaw