My Wife Quotes
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Jack Roy
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
Jack Roy
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When they look back on me I want 'em to remember me not for all my wives, although I've had a few, and certainly not for any mansions or high livin' money I made and spent. I want 'em to remember me simply for my music.
Jerry Lee Lewis
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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit.
Jack Roy
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Yes, we three were so happy, my wife, my guitar and me!
Big Bill Broonzy
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My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Jack Roy
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Jack Roy
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
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It drives me nuts how I rely on my wife for everything. I can't imagine a day without her!
Akshay Kumar
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Jack Roy
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Jack Roy
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
Jack Roy