Dave Barry Quotes

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Dave Barry

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Quotes to Explore

• A few weeks after my mom passed in November of 2013, I came back from an injury and entered the Egg Bowl in the second half against Ole Miss. I'll never forget the feeling when I walked back out on the field. As I walked into the Egg Bowl, the crowd stood up and clapped like they were enveloping me in a giant hug.

  

  Dak Prescott
  • Up
  • Feeling
  • Mom

• I grew up playing on unprepared surfaces where your wicket depended on quickly adapting to the bounce. As a kid, I could never differentiate off-spin from leg-spin. All I looked to do was to try to hit the ball before it pitched.

  

  Gautam Gambhir
  • Up
  • Never
  • Try

• The only way to do is just to go for it, otherwise it ends up looking phoney.

  

  Famke Janssen
  • Up
  • Way
  • Looking

• The great aim of your life should be to keep your powers up to the highest possible standard, to so conserve your energies, guard your health, that you can make every occasion a great occasion.

  

  Orison Swett Marden
  • Life
  • Up
  • Great

• Priority is placed on the chastity of women. You can be corrupt, or a murderer and still hold your head up high on the street without problems, whereas if there are any suspicions of your chastity and moral behaviour as a woman, you get lynched.

  

  Safak Pavey
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  • Women
  • High

• The things that drive me are poverty, and pain, and knowing that I don't want to end up being alone and I want to do something with my life and I want the name Dobson to remain in everyone's heads. Basically, just to rock and be the best performer I can be, and be true, and be real, and give people the real Fefe, nothing fake, all real.

  

  Fefe Dobson
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• During the first 13 centuries after the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, no one thought of setting up a creche to celebrate Christmas. The pre-eminent Christian holiday was Easter, not Christmas.

  

  Nancy Pearcey
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  • Christian
  • Jesus

• Great players are willing to give up their own personal achievement for the achievement of the group. It enhances everybody.

  

  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
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  • Great
  • Achievement

• I was brought up largely by my grandfather because my father only returned from a prisoner-of-war camp in 1947 and worked in the nearest small town, so I hardly ever saw him.

  

  W. G. Sebald
  • Up
  • War
  • Father

• Dwight is a sad clown. You've seen those paintings of sad clown.

  

  Rainn Wilson
  • You
  • Sad
  • Clown

• The metaphor I've used is... somebody's going to push my family off a cliff pretty soon, and I won't be there to catch them. And that breaks my heart. But I have some time to sew some nets to cushion the fall. So, I can curl up in a ball and cry, or I can get to work on the nets.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • Up
  • Time
  • Work

• My dad was so much fun growing up.

  

  Abby Elliott
  • Up
  • Fun
  • Growing

• I married a man whose Hindu father grew up in the rural north of India and whose Jewish mother grew up in the Bronx.

  

  Laura Moser
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  • Mother
  • Father

• I didn't write much until I turned 40. Up until then I felt constrained by a sense of the discipline of New Testament studies and a sense of the ruling elite in theology and biblical studies.

  

  N. T. Wright
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  • Discipline
  • New

• My grandmother, grandfather, my mom - we've always been driven by laughter. It's what held us together. Thanksgivings, any kind of family get-together, we usually end up in tears.

  

  Yelawolf
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  • Family
  • Together

• Looking back, I see that I write books about brothers and sisters, about what makes up a family, what works and what is nurturing.

  

  Patricia MacLachlan
  • Up
  • Family
  • Write

• When you're in other time zones in other places, you don't get quite as much attention; you don't get quite as much visibility for the game, and you give up a lot to do it.

  

  Gary Bettman
  • Up
  • Time
  • Game

• I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.

  

  Sam Kinison
  • Up
  • Comedy
  • Give

• A car produces about one pound of CO2 per mile. There is no problem with collecting the CO2 in the tailpipe, but one might easily end up with a trailer hitched to the car for carrying all this CO2 back to the filling station. The gas burned from a 15-gallon tank would fill up five 60-inch-tall gas bottles.

  

  Klaus Lackner
  • Up
  • Car

• Promise me you’ll marry me. Not now. Someday. Because I need to know.” Claire felt a flutter inside, like a bird trying to fly, and a rush of heat that made her dizzy. And something else, something fragile as a soap bubble, and just as beautiful. Joy, in the middle of all this horror and heartbreak. “Yes,” she whispered back. “I promise.” And she kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him, while the sun came up and bathed Morganville in one last, shining day.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • Up
  • Trying
  • She

• Nutrition isn't the only problem; our children also aren't getting enough exercise.

  

  Matt Cartwright
  • Children
  • Exercise

• If you live a good life, that seems to be what really matters. If there is something afterwards, terrific. If not, you haven't lost anything.

  

  Joe Morton
  • Life
  • Good
  • Live

• From secrecy and deception in high places, come home, America. From military spending so wasteful that it weakens our nation, come home, America.

  

  George McGovern
  • Home
  • America
  • High

• If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

  

  Dave Barry
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  • Baby