Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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All the things you are are going to be sued and sued successfully. And, while the litigants may not be able to get blood from turnips, they can certainly ruin the turnips in the process of trying.
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Hi Ho
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It is always pitiful when any human being falls into a condition hardly more respectable than that of an animal. How much more pitiful it is when the person who falls has had all the advantages!
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I am from a family of artists. Here I am, making a living in the arts. It has not been a rebellion. It's as though I had taken over the family Esso station.
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So let’s give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That’ll teach bin Laden a lesson he won’t soon forget.
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The controls were anything but a hunch-player’s delight in a Universe composed of one-trillionth part matter to one decillion parts black velvet futility.
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What froze me was the fact that I had absolutely no reason to move in any direction. What had made me move through so many dead and pointless years was curiosity. Now even that flickered out.
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I asked Rob Roy where he had gone to college.'Yale,' he said.I told him what Helen Dole said about Yale, that it ought to be called 'Plantation Owners' Tech.''I don't get it,' he said.'I had to ask her to explain it myself,' I said. 'She said Yale was where plantation owners learned how to get the natives to kill each other instead of them.'
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Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.
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Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.
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In case you haven’t noticed, we … dehumanize our own soldiers, not because of their religion or race, but because of their low social class. Send 'em anywhere. Make 'em do anything. Piece of cake.
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What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.
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My last words? 'Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse.'
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The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
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The telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
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All writers are going to have to learn more about science, because it's such an interesting part of their environment.
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No grown woman is a fan of premature ejaculation.
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My theory is that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside.
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If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
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We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
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Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.
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'The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody,' she said, 'would be to not be used for anything by anybody.' ... 'Thank you for using me,' she said to Constant, 'even though I didn’t want to be used by anybody.'
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We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
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Make love when you can. It's good for you.