Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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The telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
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I have become an enthusiast for the printed word again. I have to be that, I now understand, because I want to be a character in all of my works. I can do that in print. In a movie, somehow, the author always vanishes. Everything of mine which has been filmed so far has been one character short, and that character is me.
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And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.
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Anita had the mechanics of marriage down pat, even to the subtlest conventions. If her approach was disturbingly rational, systematic, she was thorough enough to turn out a credible counterfeit of warmth.
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Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.
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Anything can make me stop and look and wonder, and sometimes learn.
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This country is being managed to death, being public related to death.
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I asked Rob Roy where he had gone to college.'Yale,' he said.I told him what Helen Dole said about Yale, that it ought to be called 'Plantation Owners' Tech.''I don't get it,' he said.'I had to ask her to explain it myself,' I said. 'She said Yale was where plantation owners learned how to get the natives to kill each other instead of them.'
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Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.
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Make love when you can. It's good for you.
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The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.
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So it goes.
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Hi Ho
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All the things you are are going to be sued and sued successfully. And, while the litigants may not be able to get blood from turnips, they can certainly ruin the turnips in the process of trying.
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When the excrement hit the air conditioner (Recurring phrase throughout many chapters)
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The highest treason in the USA is to say Americans are not loved, no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing there.
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During my three years in Vietnam, I certainly heard plenty of last words by dying American footsoldiers. Not one of them, however, had illusions that he had somehow accomplished something worthwhile in the process of making the Supreme Sacrifice.
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No grown woman is a fan of premature ejaculation.
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All writers are going to have to learn more about science, because it's such an interesting part of their environment.
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My theory is that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside.
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It is always pitiful when any human being falls into a condition hardly more respectable than that of an animal. How much more pitiful it is when the person who falls has had all the advantages!
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So let’s give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That’ll teach bin Laden a lesson he won’t soon forget.
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We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
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I've got news for Mr. Santayana: we're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive.