Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
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Anita had the mechanics of marriage down pat, even to the subtlest conventions. If her approach was disturbingly rational, systematic, she was thorough enough to turn out a credible counterfeit of warmth.
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Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.
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All the things you are are going to be sued and sued successfully. And, while the litigants may not be able to get blood from turnips, they can certainly ruin the turnips in the process of trying.
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The controls were anything but a hunch-player’s delight in a Universe composed of one-trillionth part matter to one decillion parts black velvet futility.
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What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.
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'We're having a celebration, so all sorts of things have been said which are not true,' I said. 'That's how to act at a party.'
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We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
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So let’s give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That’ll teach bin Laden a lesson he won’t soon forget.
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My theory is that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside.
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The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, 'There's a Chaplain who never visited the front.'
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I am from a family of artists. Here I am, making a living in the arts. It has not been a rebellion. It's as though I had taken over the family Esso station.
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Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.
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It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead.
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My last words? 'Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse.'
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Hi Ho
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I asked Rob Roy where he had gone to college.'Yale,' he said.I told him what Helen Dole said about Yale, that it ought to be called 'Plantation Owners' Tech.''I don't get it,' he said.'I had to ask her to explain it myself,' I said. 'She said Yale was where plantation owners learned how to get the natives to kill each other instead of them.'
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Make love when you can. It's good for you.
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It is always pitiful when any human being falls into a condition hardly more respectable than that of an animal. How much more pitiful it is when the person who falls has had all the advantages!
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I do feel that evolution is being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. I can't help thinking that. And this engineer knows exactly what he or she is doing and why, and where evolution is headed. That’s why we’ve got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap.
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Nothing in this book is true.
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All writers are going to have to learn more about science, because it's such an interesting part of their environment.
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When the excrement hit the air conditioner (Recurring phrase throughout many chapters)
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We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
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In case you haven’t noticed, we … dehumanize our own soldiers, not because of their religion or race, but because of their low social class. Send 'em anywhere. Make 'em do anything. Piece of cake.