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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
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The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
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Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
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Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
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There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
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Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
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Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
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There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
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A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
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Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.