Jim Gaffigan Quotes
As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
Quotes to Explore
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Kids are always going to be around people who break world records and that. It's how you deal with that. I never let it get in the way of my race, but I am always more than happy after the race to sign autographs and have photos.
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I think my message goes out to the entire spectrum of political parties. I'm supported by the Tea Party, the Conservative Party and the Republican Party. I come from a Democratic world. My world is moderate Democrats, Reagan-type Democrats if you want, the blues or whatever you call them, the Blue Dogs. That's been my world, historically.
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You won't really get a lot of the mainstream, lovey-dovey side because that wasn't a part of my life in the beginning.
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Some borrowers are pretty damn good at fraud.
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Men look like pandas when they try and put make-up on.
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Yeah, I'd like to get the girl and at least make it through the film.
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I learn something not because I have to, but because I really want to. That's the same view I have for performing. I'm performing because I really want to, not because I have to bring bread back home.
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When I was a child - in wartime, pre-television - books were my life.
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In many films, as many different characters, I've killed many different people.
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There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.
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You can tell a lot about a person just by watching their facial expressions. But there are times when it's best to hide your feelings, especially at work.
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My Smiths, my Carters, the Cashes - everybody embraced me and held my arms up when I couldn't do it myself.
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I like to be busy. It's not always easy because the schedule gets busy; especially, the more successful you are, the more demands you have. But it's definitely worth the sacrifice.
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I want to see as many movies as I can and I covet a lot of weird influential movies.
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Just blow in it and sound bad for about a year and then make it sound a little bit better, and you get a little band together, and then you get a few jobs. You take four guys that sound half bad, but if they're 25 percent each, they can give 100 percent, you know?
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India has large proven reserves of gas that remain unexploited.
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The reaction that I got from 'Diamonds' I would have expected to get from 'House of the Rising Sun' or one of the other songs.
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It's definitely a necessity to make split-second decisions when you're doing gymnastics because things don't always go perfect.
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At the drop of a hat, people will say there are no roles for women after 40. It's there with a bunch of other rules I'm not interested in.
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If you want to fit in, you try to mirror whatever anyone wants from you.
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That's why people don't ever think to blame the Socs and are always ready to jump on us. We look hoody and they look decent. It could be just the other way around - half of the hoods I know are pretty decent guys underneath all that grease, and from what I've heard, a lot of Socs are just cold-blooded mean - but people usually go by looks.
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My mom started smoking when she was 11. She went to the hill next door to try her first cigarette. She set the entire hill on fire, but it didn't deter her.
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That got me to L.A. and reintroduced me to my future husband.
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As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
