Jim Gaffigan Quotes
As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
Quotes to Explore
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Kids are always going to be around people who break world records and that. It's how you deal with that. I never let it get in the way of my race, but I am always more than happy after the race to sign autographs and have photos.
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I think my message goes out to the entire spectrum of political parties. I'm supported by the Tea Party, the Conservative Party and the Republican Party. I come from a Democratic world. My world is moderate Democrats, Reagan-type Democrats if you want, the blues or whatever you call them, the Blue Dogs. That's been my world, historically.
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You won't really get a lot of the mainstream, lovey-dovey side because that wasn't a part of my life in the beginning.
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Some borrowers are pretty damn good at fraud.
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Men look like pandas when they try and put make-up on.
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Yeah, I'd like to get the girl and at least make it through the film.
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I learn something not because I have to, but because I really want to. That's the same view I have for performing. I'm performing because I really want to, not because I have to bring bread back home.
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When I was a child - in wartime, pre-television - books were my life.
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There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.
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You can tell a lot about a person just by watching their facial expressions. But there are times when it's best to hide your feelings, especially at work.
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My Smiths, my Carters, the Cashes - everybody embraced me and held my arms up when I couldn't do it myself.
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I like to be busy. It's not always easy because the schedule gets busy; especially, the more successful you are, the more demands you have. But it's definitely worth the sacrifice.
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I want to see as many movies as I can and I covet a lot of weird influential movies.
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Just blow in it and sound bad for about a year and then make it sound a little bit better, and you get a little band together, and then you get a few jobs. You take four guys that sound half bad, but if they're 25 percent each, they can give 100 percent, you know?
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India has large proven reserves of gas that remain unexploited.
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The reaction that I got from 'Diamonds' I would have expected to get from 'House of the Rising Sun' or one of the other songs.
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It's definitely a necessity to make split-second decisions when you're doing gymnastics because things don't always go perfect.
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That is the meaning of the Trump brand - being the boss who is so rich and so powerful he can do whatever he wants. So the way in which he ran for president was to embody that idea as fully as he possibly could with his outrageousness.
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When I was 13, I was just figuring out how to play 'Eruption,' poorly, by Eddie Van Halen.
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Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness, teach them how to cry.
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When I was 9, I asked my mom if I could be on TV. She was like, 'Well, okay. You can try.'
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'Let us leave tomorrow’s trouble for the One who bore our troubles on the cross.'
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I use a pseudonym, because my real name is very difficult to pronounce, to remember, and to spell. And many people who have been talking about me on television have yet to pronounce it correctly.
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As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
