Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm getting fat ... as I planned. Luckily, my gut is intentional. I'm actually preparing for a big role. Sure, it's a cinnamon roll.
Quotes to Explore
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We have to abandon liberal methods and principles of organizing a society.
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The Lord that I serve says the impossible is unacceptable.
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When I was a kid I used to scoot under the table, and whenever company would come around you know or my sisters or parents would tell me, go under the table and I'd do it because it was entertainment for the family or aunts or whatever. And one time at the Paramount when I first did it, you know, Brooklyn Paramount, I did it in the act during an instrumental and it got a big ovation and so I coined it as one of the things I should do in the act. And since I've been doing it.
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Everything we make pollutes. The most responsible thing we can do is to make each product as well as we know how so it lasts as long as possible.
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Unless he really starts feeling good, in all likelihood I wouldn't think he'd go this week.
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I’ll never forget my very first [SNL] show. I had a card in my changing room from Kristen Wiig. It just had a heart on the inside, and she’d written “Have fun.” That always stayed with me.
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I don't like what's going on in Iraq, naturally. I'm part of a large majority of people who don't, but I do not know the whole story. I do not believe what I see on television. I believe a percentage of it, so it's hard for me to discern. I don't like what it's doing to the world.
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And were your back as broad as heaven, and your purse full of gold, and did your compassion reach from here to hell itself, there is nothing you can do.
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Civilized man longs for the illusion of barbarism. Either his culture fulfills this need by adopting its outer trappings, or he will be seduced by his first contact with a culture that does.
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Encourage and listen well to the words of your subordinates. It is well known that gold lies hidden underground.
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Ah, life's little surprises! They can make any day unforgettable... or make it your last.
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When people need love and understanding and support the most is when they deserve it the least.
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I'm not sure if the audience can smell tuna but the special guest each show definitely can.
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I love prints of skulls and bones and have some taxidermy - a crow and a rabbit - to remind me of home. I like art and have a big portrait of Bjork.
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I'm proud as heck of our team, and we're just disappointed we don't have a chance to go on.
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Don't let them get you down. Be cheeky. And wild. And wonderful.
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The idea of childhood as a social invention, in retrospect, is hardly credible. In the Bible, in writings of the Greeks and Romans, and in the works of the first great educator of the modern era, Comenius, children were recognized as being both different from adults and different from one another with respect to their stages of development. To be sure, the scientific study of children and the increased length of life in modern times have enhanced our understanding of age differences, but they have always been acknowledged.
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I'm getting fat ... as I planned. Luckily, my gut is intentional. I'm actually preparing for a big role. Sure, it's a cinnamon roll.
