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Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
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I don't know where it's going, but I'm sticking with it!
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I'm mortified!
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That's the conditions that prevail!
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Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down.
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If I'd known how old I was going to be I'd have taken better care of myself.
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Surrounded by assassins!
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Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone.
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I hate music, especially when it's played.
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Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
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Everybody wants ta get inta da act!
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Be a awful nice to 'em goin' up, because you're gonna meet 'em all comin' down.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
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Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
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Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.
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I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut- terin', or about them bein' off their nut.
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UMBRIAGO!
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Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee, A dinka doo. Oh, what a tune for crooning. Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee A dinka doo. It's got the whole world spooning.