-
Life is a zoo in a jungle.
-
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
-
I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
-
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.
-
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-
The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
-
Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.
-
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-
I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.
-
I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.
-
We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other.
-
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.
-
Let us hope, that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.
-
The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
-
Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.
-
The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.
-
Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.
-
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
-
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
-
Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.
-
Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
-
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
-
The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.
-
Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.