John Oliver Quotes
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

Quotes to Explore
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I said we're going to leave phones, and so we did. We sold it to Sony.
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I have no contracts with my clients; just a handshake is enough.
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I have to say, sushi freaks me out more than almost anything.
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I have a very small public.
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Commit yourself to a mighty purpose.
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Republicans in Congress boosted the economy by cutting taxes and ending programs that don't work.
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I'm not trying to be the next Dave Grohl or Phil Collins.
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You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.
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When you work on a record for three years, it's a great sense of relief when it is finally out in the world. It just feels good.
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If there's a problem, we at Wine Library never tell ourselves that once we handle this issue, we'll never have to deal with the person again. We talk to every single person as though we're going to wind up sitting next to that person at his or her mother's house that night for dinner.
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People don't want to hear about it if you're frustrated with your big career break.
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When you have a few billion people connected with screens, not voice... screens are important. You can transmit a thousand times more information.
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With high underemployment - currently over one million part-time workers in the UK want to work more hours - sanctioning clients who cannot increase their hours seems to be both unworkable and unfair.
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Storytellers have the right to answer any question they choose.
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Our Heavenly Father continues to communicate with us through revelation. These revelations are communications of divine directions. They may come to us personally or through the voice of the Lord's chosen servants, the prophets, seers, and revelators.
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As an adult and a parent, when I'm not acting, I'm not acting. I'm being a parent, and I'm on the school run, and I'm sewing labels onto socks. That's what I'm doing.
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I sort of believe that my voice was preordained; I'm a Buddhist who believes in reincarnation so I think that my voice is a few lifetimes old.
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This modeling thing, it's pretty easy, but actually it's also really tough.
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When one loves one's Art no service seems too hard.
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My parents are really honest when they watch something. My nan is brutally honest. She'll tell me, 'Oh, you looked awful in that scene,' and I'm like, 'Well, I was giving birth at the time, so it probably worked with the character, Nan.'
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This book and I have become indivisible. I have placed my feet on this book's last pages, confident of standing so much higher in the world than I ever stood before.
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The angle of entry of the ball equals the angle of release. You cannot deny the laws of science.
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It's not a casting call. This is not a test of who should be on the evening news. It's a test of how best to present a broadcast that plays a distinctive and important role in today's crowded news landscape.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.