John Oliver Quotes

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

John Oliver

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Quotes to Explore

• I've learned that the key is to fight with no pressure.

  

  Rafael dos Anjos
  • Fight
  • Pressure
  • Key

• Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

  

  Yakov Smirnoff
  • Up
  • Men
  • Waiting

• As a 17-year-old, I remember positively dreading dance sequences. I would come to shoots, quaking with nervousness at the idea of making other artistes do retakes due to my mistakes.

  

  Hansika Motwani
  • Remember
  • Dance
  • Mistakes

• Hollywood has definitely grown, in embracing the inclusion of Latinos in the world, because, for some time, we didn't exist. We were not part of any stories.

  

  Salma Hayek
  • Time
  • World
  • Hollywood

• As I understand, the role of the federal judiciary, the role of our court system, is to provide justice.

  

  Ted Deutch
  • Justice
  • Understand
  • Provide

• I could've always worked shows, clubs, Las Vegas and Atlantic City, but I was successful in business ventures, and things weren't happening in show business, so I said, 'Let me see what I can do.'

  

  Gabe Kaplan
  • Business
  • City
  • Successful

• I'd like to win an Oscar.

  

  Vanessa Hudgens
  • Like
  • Win
  • Oscar

• On Christmas morning, we always make breakfast, and everyone eats before we open any presents. I make muffins and homemade applesauce, which I don't think anyone likes as much as I do... I just love the way it makes the house smell!

  

  Laura Leighton
  • Open
  • Smell
  • Likes

• I think what made John Lennon so exciting as an artist is that, like Dylan and other musicians with a truly important musical legacy, he had several faces, personas that changed over time as he developed.

  

  Randy Bachman The Guess Who
  • Time
  • Important
  • Legacy

• Northern Sweden holds a special kind of magic. It's cold, lonely, and the people are tough and silent, or so the stereotype says. This is Asa Larsson's home turf and I find as much joy in reading her closely observed descriptions of the environment, as in following her intriguing plots.

  

  Camilla Lackberg
  • People
  • Home
  • Reading

• One of the surest signs of the estimated changes in the consciousness of the American proletariat is to be found in the character of the demands now being put forward by the leadership.

  

  C. L. R. James
  • Character
  • American
  • Leadership

• Get a feedback loop and listen to it. … When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • People

• A second time, after many years, I was taken captive. On the first night I accordingly remained with my captors, but I heard a divine prophecy, saying to me: 'You shall be with them for two months. So it happened. On the sixtieth night the Lord delivered me from their hands.

  

  Saint Patrick
  • Time
  • Night
  • Taken

• If Benton had had an administration building with pillars it could have carved over the pillars: Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you guilty.

  

  Randall Jarrell
  • Truth
  • Guilty

• Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present. When things are at their worst I find something always happens.

  

  W. Somerset Maugham
  • Life
  • Future
  • Present

• Passions are generally roused from great conflict.

  

  Livy
  • Great

• Si eres bueno con éste, con aquél dirán que eres bueno. Si eres bueno con todos, nadie dirá que eres bueno.

  

  Antonio Porchia

• I do not remember exactly when I became interested in astronomy, but I know it was at a very young age. I did organize an astronomy club for my friends at the age of 11. We would meet once a week to learn about the constellations.

  

  Nancy Roman
  • Friends
  • Remember
  • Age

• There's not a long track record of people leaving professional sports to become a software developer.

  

  Curt Schilling
  • People
  • Long
  • Sports

• I started saying, 'I don't want to be crazy anymore.' I need to make some changes. And the first thing I started doing was just got all the men out of my life, because that was a big problem for me. That was a crutch, if you will. You know, trying to define yourself through other people or men, in particular.

  

  Natalie Cole
  • People
  • Life
  • Men

• I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

  

  John Oliver