Erma Bombeck Quotes
I am always behind the shopper at the grocery store who has stitched her coupons in the lining of her coat and wants to talk about a 'strong' chicken she bought two weeks ago. The register tape also runs out just before her sub-total. In the public restroom, I always stand behind the teen-ager who is changing into her band uniform for a parade and doesn't emerge until she has combed the tassels on her boots, shaved her legs, and recovered her contact lens from the commode.
Quotes to Explore
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When there's a status quo, usually what shakes everybody up is some sort of military confrontation, at which point we all come running and screaming to pick up the pieces.
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People watch me, waiting for me to slip up, so my privacy has gone - but that's a price you pay.
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Shoes are very emotional. For women, they carry the message that you want to give to the world. One day you want to be sexy, or super powerful at your job - you wear a great pump. If you want to be on-the-go and running after your kids - you wear a great flat.
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There is some group of Americans who are really, really curious to understand how we ended up at this point, where every week it seems like you can turn on your TV and see some sort of abuse being heaped on black people.
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I think I'm a narcoleptic. I could sleep on a railway track with a train running over me, in-between the rails.
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I join President Obama and the vast majority of Chicagoans who are tired of waiting for Washington to get serious about gun violence.
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It's true - women want the fantasy. So give them romance - but without the desperation, wondering, and waiting you see in the movies.
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By the end of 'Swan Lake,' you know how there's all the corps on stage, and she keeps running in the back, doing arms? You can't feel your arms. You're just like, 'Ow.'
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I was the Republican governor of the heavily Democratic state of New Mexico. I focused on good government, and I got it done - just like my running mate, former Massachusetts Gov. Bill Weld. The people of New Mexico reelected me by a comfortable margin. Ditto for Weld.
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The way I see it, I can either cross the street, or I can keep waiting for another few years of green lights to go by.
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We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
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There was a time when men thought it was sexy to have a housewife waiting for him to come home from work in her slippers, but in modern society, I think an independent woman is even more sexy.
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Perhaps there is no agony worse than the tedium I experienced waiting for Something to Happen.
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I try to read a Kindle Single a week, but I'm getting bad at that. I usually have a few books on the go.
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There was no child oncology in Uzbekistan and in Russia you don't have a chance because there are already so many on the waiting lists.
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I'm not happy if I'm not doing some physical suffering, like going out on a bike ride or running. First, it's good for you. No. 2, it sort of clears my mind on a daily basis. And it's a job. My job is to suffer. I make the suffering in training hard so that the races are not full of suffering.
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Sometimes I’m misunderstood and it’s hard to come by that. My life has been full of excitement. I’ve done pretty much what I wanted to do. I came from the Midwest, from South Dakota, and I came up the hard way. We lived on a farm; we didn’t even have electricity or running water if you know what I mean. People don’t know what that life is like.
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I've known some bad people and some good people in my life, and it's the bad ones who live in fear, all the time. Cause they know their own hearts... And they think everyone else is just waiting to pull the same moves on them that they've got planned to pull on somebody else.
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The only way you can have it all is by delegating all the running of the home to other people - which I don't ever want to do... So you do it yourself, and it takes time and energy and effort. And if you give it the time, it's profoundly enjoyable.
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I have some weird habits. For instance, I love beets. Show me a salad bar and I will clean them out of their beets.
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When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.
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I am always behind the shopper at the grocery store who has stitched her coupons in the lining of her coat and wants to talk about a 'strong' chicken she bought two weeks ago. The register tape also runs out just before her sub-total. In the public restroom, I always stand behind the teen-ager who is changing into her band uniform for a parade and doesn't emerge until she has combed the tassels on her boots, shaved her legs, and recovered her contact lens from the commode.
