Erma Bombeck Quotes
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

Quotes to Explore
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For every benefit you receive a tax is levied.
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But I used to have a bit of a gambling problem. And that would have been the answer to my prayers. It got worse when I started playing this character, too.
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Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.
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For me, and this may not be everybody, but because I do love country music so much, there's such a feeling of home in Nashville, especially because it's such a small town. You bring up one song, everybody knows who wrote it, everybody knows their mother and what their cell number is, and all of the stories.
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I've never fabricated or plagiarized anything.
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I don't think it's in any way harmful, this marriage of media and politicians. I think it enhances the communications process considerably and makes it possible for the public to be far more aware, far more up-to-date on issues and the opposite sides of the issues.
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Indy, I have lots of great memories from there, and probably the part of me that doesn't feel quite as longing for it is that there is still a chance that I could do it again. It's not gone.
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The things I enjoy most as I watch the movie are the things that came through without even thinking.
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I didn't hang around films. I don't know if I'd ever seen Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes.
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I definitely like wearing leotards.
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I feel people care so much about their appearance - which is important, and I do still care about my appearance, but not that much. There's far more to life than that.
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It's an interesting but useless bit of information that every single character in 'The Lord of the Rings' and 'The Hobbit' wears a wig, and many of them wears a prosthetic - false ears, feet, hands. In my case, nose.
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But Lord! to see the absurd nature of Englishmen, that cannot forbear laughing and jeering at every thing that looks strange.
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Anybody can be a pendejo, said John Grady. That just means asshole.
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Memory is the greatest of artists, and effaces from your mind what is unnecessary.
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Many scientists and economists also say putting a price on carbon through carbon taxes and/or cap-and-trade is necessary.
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I think that we have been able to demonstrate that we cannot just consume software, that we can create software that can be used all over the world, that we have that kind of talent in Africa.
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Women take so long to get ready, but when they get out of the bathroom, they look smokin' hot. That's the struggle of men throughout history, waiting by the door. The wait is so worth it. Always.
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The number of realists who are betting that both the 'economy gets healthy soon' and this government gets spending under control is a tiny group, indeed.
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I've been falsely accused of drawing too much from real life. But I am a petty thief - I take little things. And, I mean, I can hardly write 10 words before I start to make things up. I start to invent, because that's what I want to do. I'm running away to an invented place.
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They bring me faith like a closed package in someone else's plate. They want me to accept it so that I don't open it.
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I am so happy I want to be there. I know Saudi Arabia will never be the same again, women will have easy access to transportation and that means they will be more part of the workforce.
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I sense people respond more to the honest approach to making music instead of the manufactured approach.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.