Erma Bombeck Quotes
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Quotes to Explore
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There is a humanitarian impulse that one aspires to and there are days when one doesn't do it very well.
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My biggest hero was Roman Gabriel, who was the QB of the Rams, and Roger Staubach. Those were the two guys I tired to emulate when I was little.
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A writer wants something more than money for his work: he wants permanence.
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This country is becoming increasingly authoritarian. It's based on capital punishment.
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I grew up in Pittsburgh, and regularly, my parents would take us to the Holiday House Supper Club to see acts like Nancy Wilson, Sarah Vaughn, Ben Vereen, Freda Payne, Stephanie Mills, and The Temptations, to name a few.
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I do not watch horror films. At all. I am not a horror film girl; I don't have the stomach for it. I've seen a few in my lifetime, like 'The Shining' or 'Carrie,' but I can't sleep for, like, a week after I see something like that.
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When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school.
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I love football.
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I have a rich, full, textured life.
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As governor of California in 1970, Reagan endeared himself to millions of conservatives nationwide when he publicly rebuked the anti-war movement that was exploding on college campuses.
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The essential functions of the mind consist in understanding and in inventing, in other words, in building up structures by structuring reality.
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Into whatever houses I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of the sick, and will abstain from every voluntary act of mischief and corruption; and, further from the seduction of females or males, of freemen and slaves.
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It can be difficult to discuss America’s immigration policies when it’s considered racist merely to say, ‘We liked America the way it was.'
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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
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People are tired of seeing politicians as all talk and no action.
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If you've got a shot at having some 30 million people give you thumbs up or thumbs down every week, you take it.
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I don't think many people can say they've been the lead in a Spielberg film and still been able to live their normal life that they had before.
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I just know I can't force things. I've just got to play the right way, make sure I'm making the right play at the right time.
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I'm for the constitutional right to bear arms. I'm a hunter, and so is my son.
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All beauty that surrounds us must one day perish.
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Whenever I finish a book, I start with a blank slate and never have ideas lined up.
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Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
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I'm fairly certain that, at this very minute, the Mars Polar Lander is floating somewhere around the Neptune feeling tired and cranky and looking for a Holiday Inn.Of course, you'd have to have a heart of titanium not to feel a twinge of sadness while watching those dejected NASA scientiest waiting by the phone like the class wallflower on prom week.On the other hand, it was kind of fun to watch a bunch of men waiting by the phone and seeing how they feel when someone promises they'll call and then YOU NEVER HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
