Stephan Pastis Quotes

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Stephan Pastis

• South Park
• Sleep
• Audience

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• Good things happen when you meet strangers.

  

  Yo-Yo Ma
  • Good
  • You
  • Good Things

• When I first moved to New York, I wanted to be a dancer. I danced professionally for years, living a hand-to-mouth existence. I never tapped into nightlife; all I knew was dancers. We went to bed early and got up early and went to free concerts at the Lincoln Center and Shakespeare in the Park.

  

  Madonna Breakfast Club
  • Up
  • Free
  • Hand

• Trying to think about the rest of the team over myself or my scoring is something that I never really had to do before.

  

  J. R. Smith
  • Trying
  • Team
  • Myself

• It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.

  

  Joanne Rowling
  • Up
  • Great
  • Friends

• Cats and I have an understanding, but we choose not to interact often.

  

  Aaron Tveit
  • Understanding
  • Choose
  • Cats

• If I'm preparing for something and I've got a huge day the next day, I have to get into character the night before to assess the scene. I can't assess a scene unless I'm in character, if that makes sense.

  

  Samantha Morton
  • Character
  • Night
  • Day

• You know what black hatred women feel toward me as soon as they see me, until I return inside my shell, they use every possible weapon. As soon as a generous man tries to help me out, a woman is here to hold his arm and prevent him from acting.

  

  Camille Claudel
  • Women
  • Help
  • Man

• Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our nation - not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over two hundred years ago.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Up
  • Power
  • Simple

• I don't eat any dairy products at all, usually - it's a self-imposed ban. I've done it for a year now, since I was ill, but it's so hard.

  

  Sam Taylor-Johnson
  • Done
  • Now
  • Products

• I try to shut out ideas about why you should do things. Trying to do good architecture and really designing a career? There's some attention to be paid to that, but I don't think it's everything.

  

  Rachel McAdams
  • Good
  • Trying
  • Why

• The federal government has not been effective enough monitoring and surveilling bad guys.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Bad
  • Government
  • Effective

• What I support is moving Medicaid to block grants so that the states can drive that process.

  

  Karen Handel
  • Support
  • Moving
  • Process

• The best V-Day gift I've ever received was a personalized photo collage.

  

  Candice Swanepoel
  • Best
  • Gift
  • Collage

• The great writers just kept bringing them out. They didn't care if they repeated themselves.

  

  Irwin Shaw
  • Great
  • Care
  • Out

• Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

  

  Viktor E. Frankl
  • Man
  • Taken
  • Attitude

• I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • First
  • Read

• I happen to be extremely left-brained; my instinct is to draw a chart rather than a picture.

  

  Dan Pink
  • Picture
  • Happen
  • Instinct

• If we could have seen through the televisions, we would probably have seen many a child grow up.

  

  Barbara Hale
  • Up
  • Child
  • Grow

• I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I'm a very late comer to the podcast game. But you're responsibility as a comedian is to get your viewpoints out into the world, and we have a lot more avenues to do that. So it's a lot more opportunity, but really have to work all the time.

  

  Kurt Braunohler
  • Time
  • World
  • Work

• It was essential to do this job, hateful though it was, because we knew the Germans were hot on the trail.

  

  Mark Oliphant
  • Job

• Would you rather have cheap, subsidized - illegally subsidized - goods dumped into the Wal-Mart and not have a job and not have your wages go up in 15 years, or would you like to pay a little bit more - not much - a little bit more, have a job, and have your wages going up? I think the American people are going to make that choice.

  

  Peter Navarro
  • People
  • Up
  • Job

• No matter what, I want to continue living with the awareness that I will die. Without that, I am not alive.

  

  Banana Yoshimoto
  • Want
  • Die
  • Matter

• Most of my stuff comes from Eloquii, Torrid, Lane Bryant - even Target!

  

  Chrissy Metz

• If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

  

  Stephan Pastis
  • South Park
  • Sleep
  • Audience