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I don't make the mistake of thinking it's a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously.
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Jamie Oliver's lunch is soup, half a papaya with lime, ciabatta with mozzarella and prosciutto. The dear boy is not sharing the same planet as the rest of us. Is this lunacy supposed to be a practical suggestion for a harassed housewife trying to drag her children off to school?
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Sadly, I cant avoid being 75. Like many people of my age, we are all heading towards the grim reaper, and I am clinging on. I just to have to sharpen my fingernails a little so that I can hang on for longer!
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There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.
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Don't start drinking before the fifth song.
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Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ... Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals.
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But they're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.
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Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.