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The most insidious part of fame for April wasn't that other people dehumanized her; it was that she dehumanized herself. She came to see herself not as a person but as a tool.
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Reasoned, caring conversations that considered the complexity of other perspectives didn’t get views. Rants did. Outrage did. Simplicity did.
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The realization that we were actually doing this, and what it could result in, never really struck me. We just did it.
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A friend of mine once told me that, no matter how much you proofread, the first time you open the final version of your book, you will find a typo on the very first page you look at.
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I saw myself as a leader of the community, not a member. I had no idea what a messed-up perspective that was at the time.
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Don't worry about looking cool. Do you because you are awesome.
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Just because someone has power over you doesn’t mean they’re going to use it to hurt you. People who believe that tend to either be: People who have been victims of that sort of behavior, or . . . People who, if given power, will use it to hurt you.
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I don't think any of us are blameless when we all, more and more often, see ourselves not as members of a culture but as weapons in a war.
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You do the things you have to do in the order you have to do them.
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You do not exist to please someone else. You exist for your own sake.
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At LeakyCon, a young lady asked me how I dealt with bullying. I wasn’t able to give her a very good answer, which troubles me. Well, there were lots of shouts of “It gets better” and “Stay strong” and “We love you”. But when I put myself back in time to when I was being bullied, none of those things would’ve helped me. Yes, absolutely it does get better. But when you are being physically and psychologically tortured, it is difficult to remove yourself from the pressingness of the moment at hand. Here’s how I dealt with bullying: I cried, I hated myself, I hated my life. I didn’t deal with it, I survived it, but I never dealt with it. So here are two tips from someone with lots of experience. 1: It’s not about you, it has nothing to do with you, it’s about the assholes doing it to you. 2: Your job is not to deal with it, your job is to survive it, which you CAN do because it WILL end. And then yes, it will get better.
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The internet is not something we have, it's something we do.
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Every person who reads your book will be far more likely to be on your side. Books are the most intensive of all current media. People are willing to spend hours and hours with a book.
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I had to make a decision. The kind of choice that you only get to make once and you can't take back, and it makes your life totally different. And even if the path is clear, it's still deeply unsettling.
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It's weird to talk about these things as if they are fact since they were in a dream, but the fact that everyone experienced it in precisely the same way made it feel concrete. What is reality except for the things that people universally experience the same way? The Dream, in that sense, was very, very real.
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The local news does a story about it and everyone goes “Neat!” and then tomorrow we forget about it in favor of some other ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND REMARKABLE THING.
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My phone felt like it weighed ten pounds in my hands, and I almost fell asleep, but then I realized I’d been neglecting Facebook...
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People were going to read it and, I hoped, maybe some minds would be changed. Ultimately, almost everyone who read that book was already on my side, and the only thing it served to do was make people like me angrier.
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So you officially have an employee. They make your life easier, but only if you use them.
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I live in the present due to the constraints of the time-space continuum.
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It turns out, somehow, there are a tremendous number of things to be optimistic about.
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I also remember defining myself by the people and the things that I hated rather than what I liked, thinking that it was cooler to be jaded than to be careful with other people.
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Speaking to humans was so vastly different from tweeting...But this way we all had to sit in the same set of thoughts for over an hour. The connection felt very good.
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I do things that are bad for myself, and my friends, and my health, and my world so I can get more power because I think I need that power to do good things.