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On staring out at a gloomy day: First you must realize that it is the day that is gloomy, not you. If you want to be gloomy, too, that's all right, but it's not mandatory.
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Books were to my family's house like beds and stoves, the most basic items, necessary for survival.
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That "religion" is about wanting the thing to last forever and make the pain go away. The reality is, instead, more about Jesus kneeling in the dust making a paste of spit and dirt. The reality is much more raw.
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Doubt is to me the handmaiden to faith, its cop, the one that keeps faith straight. To doubt is an indication of freedom and a guard against fanaticism.