Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes
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Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?
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Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really liked Buddy Hackett, but he interviewed me at a college radio station before they broke and did Bleach. And then, like, about two years later, I was opening for Nirvana at these huge sports arenas.
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When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.
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That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows."
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Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.
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I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.
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If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
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I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside.
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What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.
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Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.
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I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.
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Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
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I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.
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How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.