Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes

United States, Comedian
May 26, 1962

Robert Francis Goldthwait, better known as Bobcat Goldthwait, is an American comedian, director, actor, voice actor, and screenwriter, known for his acerbic black comedy, delivered through an energetic stage persona with an unusual gruff and high-pitched voice. He came to prominence with his stand-up specials An Evening with Bobcat Goldthwait – Share the Warmth and Bob Goldthwait – Is He Like That All the Time? and his acting roles, including Zed in the Police Academy franchise.

Also known as Actor, Director, Voice Actor, Screenwriter

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Chicken
- Tastes
- Weasel
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Help
- See
- Police

That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows."

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Pretty
- Food
- Human
When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Job
- Baby
- Meat
Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really liked Buddy Hackett, but he interviewed me at a college radio station before they broke and did Bleach. And then, like, about two years later, I was opening for Nirvana at these huge sports arenas.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- People
- Weird
- Finding
I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Movies
- Following
- Stopped
I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Mean
- Feel
- Face
What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Question
- Difference
- Clay

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.

Bobcat Goldthwait
Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Friends
- Animals
- Airport
Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Good
- More
- Difference
Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Find
- Something
- Quit
America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Countries
- Finest
- Stole
How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Gun
- Atheist
- Vegetarian

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Bobcat Goldthwait
- Job
- Guy
- Lose