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Many people have traveled all their lives and yet do not know how to behave themselves when on the road... Ladies and gentlemen should guard against traveling by rail while in a beastly state of intoxication... the morning is a good time to find out how many people have succeeded in getting on the passenger train, who ought to be in the stock car.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
There is a grim and ghastly humor -- the humor that is born of a pathetic philosophy -- which now and then strikes me in reading the bright and keen-witted work of our American paragraphers. It is a humor that may be crystallized by hunger and sorrow and tears. It is not found elsewhere as it is in America. It is out of the question in England, because an Englishman cannot poke fun at himself. He cannot joke about an empty flour-barrel. We can: especially if by doing it we may swap the joke for another barrel of flour. We can never be a nation of snobs so long as we are willing to poke fun at ourselves.
Edgar Wilson Nye
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I rise from bed the first thing in the morning, leaving my couch not because I am dissatisfied with it, but because I cannot carry it with me during the day.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
They tell me Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
We can never be a nation of snobs so long as we are willing to poke fun at ourselves.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
Youth is the spring-time of life. It is the time to acquire information, so that we may show it off in after years and paralyze people with what we know.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
Spring comes with joyous laugh, and song, and sunshine, and the burnt sacrifice of the over-ripe boot and the hoary overshoe. The cowboy and the new milch cow carol their roundelay. So does the veteran hen. The common egg of commerce begins to come forth into the market at a price where it can be secured with a step-ladder, and all nature seems tickled.
Edgar Wilson Nye -
The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.
Edgar Wilson Nye