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You always catch the wrong players.
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You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'
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Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.
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Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.
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I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.
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I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.
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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
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One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
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It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.
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There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.
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I never substitute just to substitute. I play my regulars. The only way a guy gets off the floor is if he dies.
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Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.
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You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.
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Coaches are creatures of habit. I knew a coach who got a deal going where his players had to run a mile in six minutes. I asked why. He said, 'gut check'.
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I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?
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Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.
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If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'
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Maybe it would be best for me to finish at 599. People seem to like you better when you finish just short.
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They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.
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I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.