Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.

Lisa Lampanelli

• House
• Husband

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• I like to give pennies to children, but unfortunately, a man cannot do these things if he lives in a small village or town where his face is known and seen every day. For children take advantage, as I know to my cost, and would gather round him like hens around a farmer when he scatters grain.

  

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• The United States is supplying the most modern and sophisticated weaponry to Israel to the tune of billions of dollars every year.

  

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• You are God's own masterpiece! That means you are not ordinary or average; you are a one-of-a-kind original.

  

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• Too often, we think that, when we have a problem with our lives or our country, that the way to fix it is to take an eye for an eye. That doesn't help anything or anyone.

  

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• Plastic surgery and breast implants are fine for people who want that, if it makes them feel better about who they are. But, it makes these people, actors especially, fantasy figures for a fantasy world. Acting is about being real being honest.

  

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• I didn't have any friends, and I never went to the class parties.

  

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• It's beneficial to play against your type; to be chameleon-like.

  

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• I met Gerhard Richter and Alighiero Boetti when I was a teenager, and I was really inspired by them. When Boetti died, I realized I only vaguely remembered so many things he told me. It was such a pity. Had I only recorded his voice, he would still be with me, and I could listen to it from time to time.

  

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• Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet.

  

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• My own conviction is, confirmed by a very close study of parochial registers, that some of the very best blood in England is to be found among the tradesmen of our county towns.

  

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• Let us heed the voice of the people and recognize their common sense. If we do not, we not only blaspheme our political heritage, we ignore the common ties that bind all Americans.

  

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• There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time.

  

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• If there was a fire at my house I would throw more things on it. The only thing I would take out? Myself!

  

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• I started playing music around 13 or 14, played jazz in high school, and played other stuff in college. After college, I tried to make it as a musician. I lived in a big squalid house full of dudes outside of Boston. We were all musicians. We built this studio in the basement and played there all hours of the day.

  

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• I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.

  

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• We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.

  

  Lisa Lampanelli
  • House
  • Husband