Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.

Quotes to Explore
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I went back to Belfast and started a club, the Maritime. No one had thought about doing a blues club, so I was the first.
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I would say the larger the pool you have to select from, the more likely you are to find the most compatible person for you if you have the right algorithms working on your behalf.
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I don't know anyone on Wall Street who goes to work every day thinking of anything but how to increase their bonus.
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I'm annoying to be around because I keep twitching.
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If a country forgets where it came from, how will its people know who they are?
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You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.
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The interpretation of dreams is a great art.
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There's nothing unclassy about being naked, if it's appropriate.
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However, the thought hit me that this was a pretty pathetic way to kick the bucket - being accidentally poisoned during a photo shoot, of all things - and I started weeping at the idiocy of it all.
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I was determined to be an actor and make a name in the industry, and hence, I did.
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My telephone manners were, well, offensive to some. As I lugged my cell around, yammering away, I noticed cold stares from passersby who viewed me as a kind of techno-terrorist, or at least incredibly rude.
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Anthropology is the science which tells us that people are the same the whole world over - except when they are different.
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You're blinded by lights and you see all these people who come out, and it's exciting. It's scary and it's exciting all rolled into one.
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When I first got asked to run for the state Senate, I was asked by a number of legislators I had worked with, and I thanked them and declined.
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Sustainable South Bronx advocates for environmental justice through sustainable environmental and economic development projects.
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Upon the sacredness of property civilization itself depends-the right of the laborer to his hundred dollars in the savings bank, and equally the legal right of the millionaire to his millions.
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Rhythm and blues used to be called race music. … This music was going on for years, but nobody paid any attention to it.
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In the long-run the workman may be as necessary to his master as his master is to him, but the necessity is not so immediate.
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I used to build my own PCs... and actually had one of the first water-cooled, overclocked PCs around. I ran it at over 4Ghz, and this was back in 2001... but alas, I do not have the time for that fun anymore.
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To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
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When you sign with a label, they do insist upon certain rights, and if you have a competent attorney, your rights will be protected.
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One theory is that we will make war look so attractive that we undermine the deterrent. That's Never Never Land. What we have now would have been enough to deter Hitler. But we are talking in a different order of reality.
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The human voice is the most beautiful instrument of all, but it is the most difficult to play.
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I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.