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It takes away a lot of the thrill of killing yourself when people are looking for you and you're disappointing them, because it is a lot of fun when you're out there killing yourself.
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Having a moment of clarity was one thing; I'd had moments like that before. It had to be followed with a dedicated push of daily exercise. It's a trite axiom, but practice DOES make perfect. If you want to be a strong swimmer or an accomplished musician, you have to practice. It's the same with sobriety, though the stakes are higher. If you don't practice your program every day, you're putting yourself in a position where you could fly out of the orbit one more time.
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I wish there were more good new bands that would light a fire and offer a little friendly competition that would be welcomed.
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I don't take drugs nor drink since 2000 and I must say that I don't think about it anymore, although like every person that was addicted and has money - I know that this can lead to temptation.
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That's a spiritual lifestyle, being willing to admit that you don't know everything and that you were wrong about some things. It's about making a list of all the people you've harmed, either emotionally or physically or financially, and going back and making amends. That's a spiritual lifestyle. It's not a fluffy ethereal concept.
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The good news is that by the second year, those cravings were about as half as frequent, and by the third year, half as much again. I'm still a little bent, a little crooked, but all things crooked, I can't complain. After all those years of all kinds of abuse and crashing into trees at eighty miles an hour and jumping off buildings and living through overdoses and liver disease, I feel better now than I did ten years ago. I might have some scar tissue, but that's alright, I'm still making progress.
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It was like the Wizard of Oz had spoken, and what he said was too ludicrous to take seriously.
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I stopped hating and started just being. My whole life, I had been the most defensive person you'd meet, unable to tolerate any criticism. But now I started listening and being.
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I had not had any drugs for 5 years but then I relapsed again. I have also smoked nearly everything. Every day it was a battle to recover, which I fought for my son and myself.
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I think I'm still figuring out how to be a little less selfish.
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I think people that have fear that, 'Oh if I have a kid I won't be able to do this and I won't be able to do that.' It's kind of the opposite. It really gives you energy. It makes people better.
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I've been vegetarian since the 80s and, lately, even vegan. And I once happened to witness the slaughter of a cow. What atrocity must undergo an animal to satisfy the appetite of those fat men who eat hamburgers!
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As a father now, I wouldn't do what my dad did, because it left me feeling emotionally unstable as a kid. But he didn't do the things he did out of selfishness or malice.
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Once you've seen a solution to the disease that's tearing you apart, relapsing is never fun.
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When you realize that there's a name and a description for this condition that you thought was insanity, you've identified the problem, and now you can do something about it.
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I think art is inherently nonviolent and it actually occupies your mind with creation rather than destruction.
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We took off our clothes, and we were basically in a sphere of love and light and warmth, and the rest of the world disappeared. It was better than I ever could have dreamed, it was that thing I had been looking for, that love mixed with the rapture of sex.
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Sometimes life's so much cooler when you just don't know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet.
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Buddhism helps me to have a healthy relationship with my body and spirit.
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I didn't have to go all the way to India for spiritual enlightenment. The blue-collar spirituality of everyday life was right in front of me, it was in every nook and cranny if I wanted to seek it, but I had chosen to ignore it.
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Give her the continent and she wanted the hemisphere.
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I think dying is the ultimate high...
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Honestly, I'm really just a teddy bear.
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I was starting to come to grips with the fact that I had created a lot of pain and suffering around me, not just within me.