Masturbate Quotes

• There's fantasies about what heaven is like and who Satan is and why you shouldn't masturbate or why you should vote Republican. It's funny because it's an election year and their news broadcasts are constantly talking about "Vote Republican". I think that they think they're being subtle about it, but that's definitely not the case. So I'm like, "What does this have anything to do with the nice advice you were giving about how to live your life, how to get along with your spouse etc?"

  

  Brad Warner
  • Vote
  • Election
  • Republican

• If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.

  

  Diogenes
  • Banish
  • Rubbing
  • Masturbate

• I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.

  

  Jack Roy
  • School
  • High
  • Sexy

• Ultimately, of what possible social significance is it if a person likes to masturbate over a shoe? It may even be non-consensual, but since we do not ask permission of our shoes to wear them, it hardly seems necessary to obtain dispensation to come on them.

  

  Gayle Rubin
  • Shoes
  • Permission
  • Masturbate