Christopher Voss Quotes
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There is great power in deference. Deference works with everybody.
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What drives you? What's your motivation? That's not emotion. That's passion. It's a different word.
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The sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually, 'That's right.' Before you convince them to see what you're trying to accomplish, you have to say the things to them that will get them to say, 'That's right.'
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Negotiation is often described as the art of letting the other side have your way. You have to give the other side a chance to put stuff on the table voluntarily.
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Consider this: Whenever someone is bothering you, and they just won't let up, and they won't listen to anything you have to say, what do you tell them to get them to shut up and go away? 'You're right.' It works every time. But you haven't agreed to their position. You have used 'you're right' to get them to quit bothering you.
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I was on the SWAT team in the FBI, and I had always wanted to be in SWAT.
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The 'Rule of Three' is simply getting the other guy to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation, it's really hard to repeatedly lie or fake conviction.
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Mirroring is simply repeating what someone just said. It creates more reception from the other side, it focuses attention, and it gives them an opportunity to dial in more with you and you to dial in more with them. It causes an almost completely unconscious response for the person to want to go on.
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Once you understand what a messy, emotional, and destructive dynamic 'fairness' can be, you can see why 'fair' is a tremendously powerful word that you need to use with care.
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Most people offer obvious telltale signs when they're lying.
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'Fair' is, like, this incredibly overused term in negotiations: 'I just want what's fair.' 'What's the fair market price?'
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The sooner you cut off negotiations with someone you shouldn't be dealing with, it gives you the chance to move on to a more profitable deal.
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As a negotiator, you should strive for a reputation of being fair. Your reputation precedes you. Let it precede you in a way that paves success.
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In a job negotiation, the implementation of that deal is your success that also causes the company to succeed.
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When you expect to get into a negotiation, you expect to be faced by a guy that's going to attack you, a guy or gal that's going to attack or that they're going to try to get the best of you. Two-thirds of us, that makes us very defensive.
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People typically only believe they're in a negotiation when dollars are involved. And maybe sometimes they're smart enough to see if there's a commodity that you can count being exchanged. And, of course, the commodity that we most commonly exchange is money.
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When it comes to salary negotiation, don't forget that salary is only one term of employment. What else is on the table - vacation time, benefits, bonuses, flex days? Before determining that these terms are 'must-haves' or 'giveaways' to get a bigger salary, find out what the counterpart has to offer.
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The first and best way to say 'no' to anyone is, 'How am I supposed to do that?' Now the other side actually has no idea as to the number of things you've done with them at the same time. You conveyed to them you have a problem.
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Successful negotiation is not about getting to 'yes'; it's about mastering 'no' and understanding what the path to an agreement is.
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The moment you've convinced someone that you truly understand her dreams and feelings, mental and behavioral change becomes possible, and the foundation for a breakthrough has been laid.
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Body language and tone of voice - not words - are our most powerful assessment tools.
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What you want to do is put people in a position where they feel connected enough to you that they're willing to collaborate with you; they're willing to show you the things that they were scared to tell you about before.
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Salary negotiations shouldn't be limited to just salary. Salary pays your mortgage, but terms build your career.
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The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't know you're in.