Charles Farrar Browne Quotes
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N.B. This is rote sarcastikul.
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I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
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My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin' accommodatin' character.
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I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.
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Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
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He is dreadfully married. 'He's the most married man I ever saw in my life.'
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I'm not a politician and my other habits are good.
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The sun has a right to 'set' where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
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I am not a politician, and my other habits air good.
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The female woman is one of the greatest institooshuns of which this land can boste.
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I now bid you a welcome adoo.
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My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.
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They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them.
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The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.
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They cherish his mem'ry, and them as sell picturs of his birthplace, etc., make it prof'tible cherishin' it.
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Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?
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Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
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The fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
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...their eyes sparkled like diminds, their cheeks was like roses, and they was charmin enuff to make a man throw stuns at his granmother, if they axed him to.
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The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.