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I loved being in my sister's room. I really admired her and wore her clothes to play in, played with her dolls, played with her makeup. She had a mirror with settings to see what you would look like in different lighting. I thought that was amazing.
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Though there are plenty of reasons to critique U.S. foreign policy and the way in which the U.S. military enacts it, serving your country has long been a way for economically marginalized Americans to get an economic step up - and could be for trans people as well.
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Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power. When these cries of patriotism drown out any logically based dissension, it is usually the American soldier that is given the order to carry out some ill-conceived mission.
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I am not Bradley Manning. I really never was.
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I came out publicly as transgender and began hormone replacement therapy while in prison. When I was released, however, there was no quantifiable history of me existing as a transwoman. Credit and background checks automatically assumed I was committing fraud.
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From my perspective, the world's shaped me more than anything else. It's a feedback loop.
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After years of hiding and holding off because of the trial, I finally announced my intent to change my name and transition to living as woman on 22 August 2013 - the day following my sentencing - a personal high point for me, despite my other circumstances.
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When you're a kid dreaming, anything seems possible.
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The past will always affect me, and I will keep that in mind while remembering that how it played out is only my starting point, not my final destination.
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By December 2009, I had come to terms with my gender identity just as I was deployed to Iraq.
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The one place I never felt at all comfortable in the military was in private circles of conversation. There's a tendency, especially among young men, to objectify and denigrate women behind closed doors.
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The insecurity that comes from being behind bars with, at best, imperfect oversight makes us all feel responsible only for ourselves. We end up either docile, apathetic, and unwilling to engage with each other, or hostile, angry, violent, and resentful.
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There were a lot of points where I would start to come out, face stern resistance and mockery from people I thought were my friends, and then reverse course. I was scared. I don't think I ever said, 'I'm gay,' or, 'I'm trans.' It was more like, 'Is it normal for guys to crossdress a lot?'
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Gender presentation should reflect the person that you are. When you lose control of your gender presentation, you lose an important aspect of your identity and existence.
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The military is diverse and large, and it's public: it serves a public function; it serves a public duty.
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As a young queer kid growing up, I explored my identity through the Chicago and Washington, D.C., club scene.
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In the years preceding my imprisonment, I worked as a software programmer, designing and developing web interfaces, secure databases, and communication software; later, I was employed as an intelligence analyst for the U.S. Army. Throughout each of these jobs, we used different kinds of encryption to keep prying eyes out of information we handled.
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I sometimes feel less than empty; I feel non-existent. Still, I endure. I refuse to give up.
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I've been a fan of Taylor Swift for years - ever since I heard her song 'Love Story.' I'm also a really big fan of Selena Gomez - I really started listening to her a lot in the months before and during my court martial in 2013.
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On the night of 4 November 2008, Barack Obama was elected on a platform of 'hope' and 'change.' He was hailed as a 'uniter' in an age of 'dividers.' I experienced a political awakening that night. I watched as the hope that President Obama represented was tempered by the shocking passage of Proposition 8 by a majority of voters in California.
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Unfortunately, prisons try very hard to make us inhuman and unreal by denying our image, and thus our existence, to the rest of the world.
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You start to forget about the world outside - it's not relevant or relatable anymore. The darkest part of solitary confinement is that you start to forget about cars and jobs and families and weather and politicians - and all the things that make up a society.
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When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail; when you're a skilled intelligence professional, everything looks like a vital source for collection.
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When I was a kid, I wanted to be in business or politics, like a CEO of a big corporation or a U.S. senator. There were also times I wanted to be an astronaut or a military officer. Yes, there were moments when I thought about doing this as a woman.