S. J. Perelman Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I would never write a memoir, because it would be too boring.
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Humanity will live as long as there are humans.
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I wish I could fill every young man who reads these pages with an utter dread and horror of poverty. I wish I could make you so feel its shame, its constraint, its bitterness that you would make vows against it.
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You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
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I had a world of people who were raising me; it was like a little village.
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Gains in corporate profits depend in large part on accelerating global economic growth.
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There are guys out there faster than me.
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I can't give a decent toast to save my life.
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I felt like an outsider. The only time you get to really know guys is on the ice, and I couldn't be there.
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I come from an acting family, my father was an actor, and I had to fight my way and just create my own identity.
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My thing about going to the gym is that I leave my bracelets on, and I put on my makeup the way I would do it in real life, and I wear cute clothes, because if I don't feel good when I leave the house, then I'm not motivated to do it. I need to like how I look while I'm doing it.
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The capture of Saddam Hussein has proven to the bad ones, to the guilty ones, to the sinful ones that they cannot run forever. Sooner or later, the other criminals will also be found from their hideouts.
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It is really, really wonderful that in your old age you are protected by specialists who understand your problems and sort them out for you. Well, isn't that what we all need?
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If you think you don't want to play another psychopath, but the script is amazing, and the director is fantastic, and the story is incredible, then you may end up playing your third psychopath in a row.
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Fifty years of isolating Cuba had failed to promote democracy, setting us back in Latin America. That's why we restored diplomatic relations, opened the door to travel and commerce, and positioned ourselves to improve the lives of the Cuban people.
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Biceps for show, triceps for go.
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I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.
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Achievement is not always success, while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.
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When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take choose the bolder.
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I also made it quite clear that Socialism means equality of income or nothing, and that under socialism you would not be allowed to be poor. You would be forcibly feed, clothed, lodged, taught, and employed whether you like it or not. If it were discovered that you had not character enough to be worth all this trouble, you might possibly be executed in a kindly manner; but whilst you were permitted to live you would have to live well.
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What is it about the blank page that makes me want to hurl myself into a game of solitaire? I ask myself these kinds of questions while I'm playing solitaire.
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As a longtime practitioner of yoga and a person who's been involved in physical fitness my whole life, I can tell you, yoga helps you achieve altered states of consciousness. It is not just stretching. The only way you can say that it's stretching is if you haven't done it, or that you haven't done it rigorously for a long period of time.
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Before they made S J Perelman they broke the mold.
