Dave Barry Quotes
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Quotes to Explore
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By the end of 2008, clearly the Al Qaeda and Sunni insurgency had been relatively stabilized. And in the Al Qaeda's mind, they were defeated.
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One can quite understand vegetarianism. One can quite understand meat-eating. But it is difficult to understand why a person who is a flesh-eater should object to one kind of flesh, namely cow's flesh. This is an anomaly which call for explanation.
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Your man wants to know that there's nothing you wouldn't do for him - if that's your committed relationship.
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In the last four years, I heard the same thing over and over again from people: 'We've had enough,' 'Our country is drifting,' 'We've lost our way.'
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I like to take walks in the park by myself, where no one can bother me and I can think.
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Fashion's important to me, but beauty fades. All that stuff is fun while it lasts, but anything can happen tomorrow. You've got to have so much more about you than the way you look or your clothes.
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I consider myself a writer who happens to write about history, rather than a historian. I was an English major in college. What I've learned about history is in the field, so to speak. Going into the archives and working with it directly.
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I've made a decision and now I must face the consequences.
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I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
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I like a guy who uses his hips when he's dancing.
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Court TV will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will always look back at my time there with great gratitude and affection.
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The biggest misconception about me is the bad-boy image that everyone stuck me into due to my tattoos, drug days and the constant changes I make with my hair color.
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I remember when I was in third grade, I was in a classroom, and the teacher said, 'What do you want to do when you get older?' We were going around the room. I said, 'I want to be a professional basketball player.' She's like, 'That's not realistic.' I thought to myself, 'OK, watch.'
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I was addicted to the original 'Star Trek' when I was growing up, because of my dad. We grew up in St. Helens, Oregon and we weren't allowed to watch a lot of TV.
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We did a lot of those road trips, all the mandatory stuff that you should when you're a kid, like Mount Rushmore and the Grand Canyon and the Sequoias and the western coast.
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Especially on unexpected journeys, you have time; you can figure certain deeper things out, like who you are and what you want. That's why I enjoy journeys.
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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It's hard to say this about a guy like Eddie Van Halen, one of the greatest guitar players who ever lived, but he's really limited to a style and they're locked into it.
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I did a Broadway show with Alan Alda and how much money can Alan Alda have.
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We need a legal code that develops like our skin during our growing years. Something both youthful and strong... So what we humans birth might surpass without oppressing us.
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We must do what we conceive to be the right thing, and not bother our heads or burden our souls with whether we are going to be successful. Because if we don't do the right thing, we'll be doing the wrong thing, and we will just be part of the disease, and not a part of the cure.
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I googled 'Gabby Douglas,' and all these things popped up like 'Gabby Douglas makes history!' And 'She's the champion!'
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Jealously is more common than loyalty.
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We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.