Bill Engvall Quotes

Marital sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail. You get one piece every four to six weeks, you don't know what kind of shape that piece is gonna be in when you get it, but you still gotta pay the handling charges.

Bill Engvall

• War
• Sex
• Chess

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I am born and raised in the Bronx. Where I grew up, it is a really working-class neighborhood and it does give you a really good work ethic.

  

  Cara Buono
  • Up
  • Good
  • Work

• I simply adore getting dressed up for a special occasion. I feel incredible stepping out in luxurious fabrics and a bit of bling. That's also how I feel about special-occasion dining rooms. Because these aren't everyday spaces, they contain all sorts of drama for that once-in-a-while 'wow' event.

  

  Candice Olson
  • Up
  • Feel
  • Drama

• I'm not strict on my calorie count; I just pay attention to my body.

  

  J. J. Watt
  • Attention
  • Body
  • Count

• A mortgage transaction is very complex, very complicated, and very localized - the rules are not just by state but by county, sometimes even by municipality.

  

  Dan Gilbert
  • Sometimes
  • Rules
  • Mortgage

• About three months before a contest, I drink a lot of water. I start to drink a lot of water.

  

  Takeru Kobayashi
  • Water
  • Start
  • Drink

• Balance is key in cooking - you want a little acid, a little sweet, a little savory - the flavors should be harmonious.

  

  Gail Simmons
  • Balance
  • Sweet
  • Cooking

• I'm a huge Disney nut. I have been since I was a little kid.

  

  Zachary Levi
  • Kid
  • Disney
  • Been

• Some stresses are unavoidable - it's just part of life. One of the things I do to avoid stress is not work with people that I don't really like or drive me crazy.

  

  Dan Hill
  • People
  • Life
  • Work

• Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

  

  Carl Jung
  • Man
  • Me
  • Him

• The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.

  

  C. Northcote Parkinson
  • Society
  • Product
  • Boredom

• I just don't watch a lot of TV.

  

  Patrick Wilson
  • Just
  • Watch
  • Lot

• I think that sometimes you can be an example of what to do and what not to do, and I think most of the time I'm an example of what not to do.

  

  Taya Kyle
  • Time
  • Think
  • Sometimes

• Marriage is a social construct, but I still believe in it.

  

  Talulah Riley
  • Believe
  • Marriage
  • Social

• Eventually I got the call for 'Iron Man,' and I read sides that had nothing to do with what I did in the movie, and I performed it once while no one was in the room - it was videotaped, and I'm sure Shane Black was watching it from his helicopter or something. And then I got a call the next day that I was going down to shoot it.

  

  Adam Pally
  • Movie
  • Man
  • Black

• I always start with emotion. That's where I start all of my improvisations, on the piano. I always start with the mood or the feel of where I am in that moment.

  

  Laura Mvula
  • Moment
  • Emotion
  • Piano

• I grew up in Arizona, but I moved to L.A. when I was 18 to model. I was doing work for American Apparel and then got cast in the Yeezus tour. Vanessa Beecroft did the creative direction, and they hired three American Apparel models and nine dancers - it wasn't a lot of dancing; we were mostly just walking.

  

  Kacy Hill
  • Up
  • Work
  • American

• Most fears are basic: fear of the dark, fear of going down in the basement, fear of weird sounds, fear that somebody is waiting for you in your closet. Those kinds of things stay with you no matter what age.

  

  R. L. Stine
  • Age
  • Fear
  • Dark

• I like 'My So-Called Life' and the 'Riot Grrl Movement' and 'Freaks and Geeks.'

  

  Tavi Gevinson
  • Life
  • Like
  • Movement

• When I am president, I will work to ensure that all of our kids are treated equally and protected equally. Every action I take, I will ask myself, 'Does this make life better for young Americans in Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit, Ferguson, who have as much of a right to live out their dreams as any other child America?'

  

  Donald Trump
  • Life
  • Work
  • Live

• If one is going to change the definition of marriage to be, quote, 'same sex,' then there is absolutely no valid argument constitutionally or rhetorically you can make against multiple people getting married. These are radical social changes.

  

  Gary Bauer
  • People
  • Change
  • Marriage

• So live your life of obedience and of war! What matter about long life! What warrior wisheth to be spared!

  

  Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Life
  • War
  • Disobedience

• Leather has a real durability and functionality.

  

  Matthew Williamson
  • Real

• Marital sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail. You get one piece every four to six weeks, you don't know what kind of shape that piece is gonna be in when you get it, but you still gotta pay the handling charges.

  

  Bill Engvall
  • War
  • Sex
  • Chess