-
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
-
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
-
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
-
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
-
Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
-
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
-
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
-
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
-
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
-
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
-
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
-
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
-
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
-
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
-
He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.
-
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
-
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
-
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
-
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
-
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-
He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
-
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
-
Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.