David Sedaris Quotes

But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

David Sedaris

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Quotes to Explore

• I felt unhappy and trapped. If I left baseball, where could I go, what could I do to earn enough money to help my mother and to marry Rachel? The solution to my problem was only days away in the hands of a tough, shrewd, courageous man called Branch Rickey, the president of the Brooklyn Dodgers.

  

  Jackie Robinson
  • Money
  • Help
  • Mother

• Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • May
  • Science
  • Problems

• Better treatment and detection methods have also improved the survival rate for people with cancer, and for the first time in history, this year the absolute number of cancer deaths in the U.S. has decreased.

  

  Ike Skelton
  • People
  • Time
  • History

• I get some of my ideas from watching my three daughters, but most of them come from my own memories of growing up. I can remember how romantic I was, not just about love, but romance in the classic sense - the romantic ideals: of honor and truth, of loyalty, sacrifice and fairness. Those were the elements that made a story satisfying to me.

  

  Francine Pascal
  • Truth
  • Ideas
  • Memories

• It's not like I've ever been the popular pretty girl at school or anything. I was always such a weirdo.

  

  Maisie Williams
  • School
  • Pretty
  • Girl

• George Clooney had the web of celebrity from television and doing 'ER,' and he's able to parlay that into films. God willing, I'll be up there in a few years.

  

  Bailey Chase
  • Up
  • God
  • Years

• I've never been specifically attached to westerns, but there are those I like - one of the best westerns I've seen is 'Unforgiven.' I think the genre has something extremely powerful that can allow them to talk about good and evil in a very straight way.

  

  Mads Mikkelsen
  • Good
  • Best
  • Evil

• If colleges and universities are really concerned about women's rights, then they must adjust to a far more flexible structure to allow young women students to take leaves of absence if they want to have children early.

  

  Camille Paglia
  • Women
  • Children
  • Want

• There's a lot to be said for not displacing people.

  

  Barney Frank
  • People
  • Said
  • Lot

• The past is our definition. We may strive with good reason to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it. But we will escape it only by adding something better to it.

  

  Wendell Berry
  • Good
  • May
  • Bad

• A well balanced, inclusive approach, according to certain standards and ideals, is essential for the proper governance of any country.

  

  Laisenia Qarase
  • Country
  • Governance

• This awful concept of underclass is really horrifying. You're not lower class, you are excluded - outside.

  

  Zygmunt Bauman
  • You
  • Class
  • Lower Class

• There were musicians that influenced me, but they weren't all women. Teena Marie was a big influence because she wrote and produced her own music, which let me know that women could write and produce their own music, which was an empowering moment for me.

  

  Queen Latifah
  • Music
  • Women
  • She

• I am sure that in the story of Adam and Eve, the forbidden fruit was a fig and not an apple, pear or anything else.

  

  Yotam Ottolenghi
  • Story
  • Fruit
  • Apple

• There is a latent anger in a lot of people that went to boarding school at an early age. I was eight. And I loved it over the five years, but I think the adjustments for eight-year-olds are a lot. And I think it informs who you are for a long, long time.

  

  Damian Lewis
  • People
  • Time
  • Long

• One of the things I enjoy most during the World Cup is watching a team improve, mature, and gel during the course of the tournament.

  

  Rabih Alameddine
  • World
  • Team
  • Enjoy

• We are two abysses - a well staring at the sky.

  

  Fernando Pessoa
  • Sky

• Property isn't theft: it's nothing.

  

  Fernando Pessoa

• Small businesses are the backbone of job creation in South Carolina, but we're not maximizing our potential when we've got what's effectively the highest income tax rate in the Southeast holding us back.

  

  Mark Sanford
  • Job
  • Small

• I don't want to see Bowie in a tracksuit. He never let anyone see him that way. The outlet for my work is not just the music and the videos, it's every breathing moment of my life. I'm always saying something about art and music and fame. That's why you don't ever catch me in sweatpants.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • Life
  • Work
  • Music

• I think I'm long past the days where I would go to the store and drop a couple hundred bucks on CDs, so my playlist is gonna be pretty long in the tooth.

  

  Dave Willis
  • Long
  • Pretty
  • Past

• I was always told that I was too small, too skinny, too slow, not tough enough, and I never ever believed what people told me.

  

  Joe Theismann
  • People
  • Small

• In Australia, I grew up watching 'The Mickey Mouse Club,' my son grew up watching 'Sesame Street,' my grandson's growing up watching 'Dora The Explorer.' So we are sort of saturated with American culture from the day we're born, and to those of those who do have an ear for it, it's second nature.

  

  Jacki Weaver
  • Up
  • American
  • Nature

• But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

  

  David Sedaris