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I'd stand on a coffee table, and my cousin Edith would give me dimes, and you put the dimes on your head... And when your forehead was full, show was over.
Billy Crystal -
Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
Billy Crystal
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The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book.
Billy Crystal -
As far as the media goes, I'm driving in the left lane at 28 miles an hour.
Billy Crystal -
Time scares me: having enough time to do all the things that I want to do in life, just even in terms of forgetting about the business I'm in.
Billy Crystal -
There used to be that you only had four or five critics that you would look to for intelligent conversation, but now there are millions of people who can just press 'send,' and everyone's got an opinion even if no one cares what they say. It makes things a little bit tougher.
Billy Crystal -
I never stopped believing in us, and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be.
Billy Crystal -
There are all these things I want to accomplish. We never know how long we're going to get.
Billy Crystal
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
Billy Crystal -
My mum, Helen, was hilarious. She had a tremendous sense of humour and was a great singer and tap dancer. For many years, she was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She would be in the float as it came along, singing whatever the Minnie Mouse song of the day was. She was a really big spirit in my life.
Billy Crystal -
I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
Billy Crystal -
That's still the greatest high, that feeling of being in control of 2,000 people. It's me and them, and I like the odds. It's not even so much the funny. It's getting them quiet. In the quiet moments in '700 Sundays,' I just really love that they're getting moved.
Billy Crystal -
Mr. Hitchcock knew what he was doing.
Billy Crystal -
The truth is, in this age of Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat, we know way too much about athletes - and it's their fault.
Billy Crystal
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My dad, Jack, had a great sense of humour and had a strong impact on me and my humour.
Billy Crystal -
When I was about 21 and just about to get out of college at NYU, Vietnam was raging, and I was a frustrated musician for a little bit.
Billy Crystal -
I don't like to watch my work after I do it because it just - I'll always look at the wrong things.
Billy Crystal -
Gentlemen, start your egos.
Billy Crystal -
When I first started, there were, like... two or three critics that you thought, 'Alright, I hope I get a good review from them.' And now there's millions of them.
Billy Crystal -
What passes for sports coverage is terribly sycophantic.
Billy Crystal
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they're raising them. You can't push your way into areas where you shouldn't be saying anything. You have to always remember they're not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death - then hand them back.
Billy Crystal -
When I'm not thrilled, I get funny.
Billy Crystal -
I pride myself in being able to survive just about any situation on stage now. I can handle pressure.
Billy Crystal -
My older brother Joel became an art teacher; my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.
Billy Crystal