Billy Crystal Quotes
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I've already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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Nothing takes the sting out of these tough economic times like watching a bunch of millionaires giving golden statues to each other.
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I don't go to any of the big Academy parties while the show is on because, invariably, it turns to people watching me watch the host, and it's not comfortable. I watch at home and hope the show gets to be really good.
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I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do.
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It's like being a gym rat, but you're a theater rat, and then that becomes your fraternity house. That becomes your extended family.
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I started writing in 1948 - basically.
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Losing my parents, who I admired, loved and needed, it took a long time to be able to move on.
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Change is such hard work.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
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Only once in a thousand years or so do we get to hear a Mozart or see a Picasso or read a Shakespeare. Ali was one of them, and yet at his heart, he was still a kid from Louisville who ran with the gods and walked with the crippled and smiled at the foolishness of it all.
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I've worn down America.
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We're seeing this disintegration of the family movie into these blockbuster things that kids should not be exposed to with explosions, carnage and violence.
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As I sit here writing and look across the room at Janice, I keep thinking of the most heartbreaking question: which of us will go first?
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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Our professor was Marty Scorsese. Marty was a graduate student, or Mr. Scorsese, which is what I had to call him, and still do when I see him 'cause he gave me a C.
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My dad died when I was 15 and worked way too much.
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'Parental Guidance' combines comedy and pathos in the best way.
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President Clinton knew the course and goes, 'Here's what you want to do here.' By the fourth hole, you wanted to hit him with your putter.
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Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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I have performed my one-man show '700 Sundays' over 400 times now. There were only two times that I can honestly say I was nervous. The first was when I knew Mel Brooks was in the audience, and the second was when Sid Caesar came.
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I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
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Believe me, happiness is not ticking off Walter Cronkite.
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I love Mickey Mantle. Would I have felt the same if I had known when I was eight years old what I know now?
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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.