Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.

Quotes to Explore
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I pass no judgment about historic events. I defend the human freedoms. Whatever event has taken place throughout history, or hasn't taken place, I cannot judge that.
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In general, writers shouldn't be killed for what they write, though I can think of exceptions.
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Basically, I'm a musical vocalist, but I do voiceover stuff as a sideline, like plumbing or something.
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In my case, I write in the past because I'm not really part of the present. I have nothing valid to say about anything current, though I have something to say about what existed then.
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I prefer to be a villainess. There's something a bit more delicious about their wickedness.
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I don't write the books. God writes the books and delivers the speeches.
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Every story I create, creates me. I write to create myself.
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Cynicism is something which has become symbolic of imperial policy.
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Feminism remains something that needs to be explained to people.
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I like artists who have something to say, not wallpaper.
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I'm potentially worth a lot of money, but I've got to go and make something that's worth a lot of money.
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The main thing is to know something and to say it.
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Proclaiming a sexual preference is something that straight men never really have to bother with.
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My audience has really become a very diverse group of people. It's not just 15-year-old girls. That's kind of what allows me to write from all the different places I want to write from.
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There's never any pressure on the music having to be something.
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I was always falling in love at a very young age - kindergarten is when I can remember. There was always a crush. And when I was in sixth grade, I started picking up guitar, so I started wanting to write about it and sing about it.
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I just write mechanical things.
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I called Daley Thompson after the Games of '84, when he won. He'd had this phenomenal decathlon for nine events - and then he went out there and jogged the 1,500 meters and missed the world record by, like, three points.
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I never took any writing classes or planned to write. But I was working as an advertising copywriter in the late '80s and thought, 'What a shame there has never been a decent book on Jean Harlow,' then thought, 'Why don't I write one myself?' being kind of an idiot and not having the slightest idea what I was getting myself into.
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Russians have a new freedom, but as long as they don't express that freedom on a public platform.
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In relations between the states ... the interests of the country should be correlated with the interests of other countries, and compromise is to be found when resolving the most complex issues.
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Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have.
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I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.