Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.

Quotes to Explore
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I pass no judgment about historic events. I defend the human freedoms. Whatever event has taken place throughout history, or hasn't taken place, I cannot judge that.
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In general, writers shouldn't be killed for what they write, though I can think of exceptions.
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Basically, I'm a musical vocalist, but I do voiceover stuff as a sideline, like plumbing or something.
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In my case, I write in the past because I'm not really part of the present. I have nothing valid to say about anything current, though I have something to say about what existed then.
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I prefer to be a villainess. There's something a bit more delicious about their wickedness.
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I don't write the books. God writes the books and delivers the speeches.
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Every story I create, creates me. I write to create myself.
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Cynicism is something which has become symbolic of imperial policy.
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Feminism remains something that needs to be explained to people.
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I like artists who have something to say, not wallpaper.
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I'm potentially worth a lot of money, but I've got to go and make something that's worth a lot of money.
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The main thing is to know something and to say it.
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Proclaiming a sexual preference is something that straight men never really have to bother with.
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My audience has really become a very diverse group of people. It's not just 15-year-old girls. That's kind of what allows me to write from all the different places I want to write from.
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There's never any pressure on the music having to be something.
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I was always falling in love at a very young age - kindergarten is when I can remember. There was always a crush. And when I was in sixth grade, I started picking up guitar, so I started wanting to write about it and sing about it.
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I just write mechanical things.
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I called Daley Thompson after the Games of '84, when he won. He'd had this phenomenal decathlon for nine events - and then he went out there and jogged the 1,500 meters and missed the world record by, like, three points.
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I pestered the hell out of everybody I ran into until I could play the guitar well enough to write and sing with it.
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I cannot get him to write or speak in real, solid earnest. I don't much mind it now, but if it be always so, what shall I do with the serious part of myself?
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Our huffing and puffing to impress God, our scrambling for brownie points, our thrashing about trying to fix ourselves while hiding our pettiness and wallowing in guilt are nauseating to God and are a flat denial of the gospel of grace.
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With an audience it's now, there are no editors around. It's just me and the audience and it's what I like best.
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I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.