Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.

Quotes to Explore
-
I pass no judgment about historic events. I defend the human freedoms. Whatever event has taken place throughout history, or hasn't taken place, I cannot judge that.
-
In general, writers shouldn't be killed for what they write, though I can think of exceptions.
-
Basically, I'm a musical vocalist, but I do voiceover stuff as a sideline, like plumbing or something.
-
In my case, I write in the past because I'm not really part of the present. I have nothing valid to say about anything current, though I have something to say about what existed then.
-
I prefer to be a villainess. There's something a bit more delicious about their wickedness.
-
I don't write the books. God writes the books and delivers the speeches.
-
Every story I create, creates me. I write to create myself.
-
Cynicism is something which has become symbolic of imperial policy.
-
Feminism remains something that needs to be explained to people.
-
I like artists who have something to say, not wallpaper.
-
I'm potentially worth a lot of money, but I've got to go and make something that's worth a lot of money.
-
The main thing is to know something and to say it.
-
Proclaiming a sexual preference is something that straight men never really have to bother with.
-
My audience has really become a very diverse group of people. It's not just 15-year-old girls. That's kind of what allows me to write from all the different places I want to write from.
-
There's never any pressure on the music having to be something.
-
I was always falling in love at a very young age - kindergarten is when I can remember. There was always a crush. And when I was in sixth grade, I started picking up guitar, so I started wanting to write about it and sing about it.
-
I just write mechanical things.
-
I called Daley Thompson after the Games of '84, when he won. He'd had this phenomenal decathlon for nine events - and then he went out there and jogged the 1,500 meters and missed the world record by, like, three points.
-
I'd love to write for One Direction. I think they've done incredibly well.
-
"Nancy, you're a whiz, as I've often told you," her friend declared.
-
A candle throws its light into the darkness, in a nasty world so shines a good deed. Make sure the fortune that you seek is the fortune that you need.
-
The DVR thing has rocked my world. Being on the road, I used to not keep up with any shows. Now I got a DVR, so I'm watching everything: 'CSI: Miami,' my favorites 'Criminal Minds' and 'The Mentalist.' I like some of the HBO stuff, 'Entourage' and 'Eastbound & Down.' My wife got me into the 'Grey's Anatomy' deal, so I'm watching that.
-
It's great at least to be at 4-2, ... That part is fun. You get to play games that count now. We're entering a tough stretch here. It starts with the Giants.
-
I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.