Jay London Quotes
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You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on evolutionary chart.
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I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
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I'm addicted to prescription glasses.
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A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
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I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
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It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
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I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.
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I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
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I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.
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I was born nine months premature.
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My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
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At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
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My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
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They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
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I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
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I get all my hair products at PetCo. (Jay's hair is long, curly, and quite messy)
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I had a very lonely New Year's this year. I had to watch my own balls drop.
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I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
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I go around slashing tire prices.
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(In a tone suggesting a reference to his upbringing) I was brought up on charges.