Jay London Quotes
-
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
-
You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on evolutionary chart.
-
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
-
I'm addicted to prescription glasses.
-
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
-
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
-
I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.
-
I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.
-
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
-
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
-
I was born nine months premature.
-
At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
-
I get all my hair products at PetCo. (Jay's hair is long, curly, and quite messy)
-
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
-
They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
-
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
-
I had a very lonely New Year's this year. I had to watch my own balls drop.
-
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
-
I go around slashing tire prices.
-
(In a tone suggesting a reference to his upbringing) I was brought up on charges.