Jeff Dunham Quotes
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

Quotes to Explore
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It was funny on '24' because I'm a Scots-Canadian, and I was working with the great Scottish actor Tony Curran, and we were both playing Russian gangsters.
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When I look at myself, I'd like not to have hair on the top of the ceiling.
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I really hate the term 'historical novel' - it reminds me of bodice-rippers. But I'm hooked on research, and I really, really enjoy it.
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I am an old geezer: a grandpa kind of a guy. I was born October 19, 1931. I have gray hair, a beard, and a little pot belly. I have two children who are over 30 years old and a sweet little granddaughter who is 11 years old.
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Greece needs to work on a cleaner image. It's a big problem, as they have this reputation of being so corrupt.
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There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge.
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Police can only act on intelligence.
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The value of an arts education is widely accepted, especially in California.
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We are quite at ease in this no man's land of ignorance and doubt and dispute, absorbed in the ambiguities of trying to reach truth by mixing fact with invention.
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As writers, we can't predict who might come along who might find our offerings valuable.
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I've enjoyed all the work I've done, and I feel quite lucky that I haven't been playing sweet girls all the time.
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You go through at least the first two years of Star Trek and you find some amazing stuff. Everything that was going on Gene put into the series. He just put strange costumes on the actors and painted them funny colours and left the same situation in.
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I always urged my contemporaries to look for interest and inspiration to the development and study of drawing, but they would not listen. They thought the road to salvation lay by the way of colour.
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The root cause of terrorism lies not in grievances but in a disposition toward unbridled violence. This can be traced to a world view which asserts that certain ideological and religious goals justify, indeed demand, the shedding of all moral inhibitions.
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You think about all that stuff that can happen to you, he said. There aint no end to it.
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Give me bitter years of sickness, Suffocation, insomnia, fever, Take my child and my lover, And my mysterious gift of song - This I pray at your liturgy After so many tormented days, So that the stormcloud over darkened Russia Might become a cloud of glorious rays.
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You need diplomacy and not slogans. This is the place for wisdom, the place for seeking windows that will take you to the objective.
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'Oh, dear no, miss,' he said. 'This is a London particular.' I had never heard of such a thing. 'A fog, miss,' said the young gentleman. 'Oh, indeed!' said I.
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Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
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I tend to do yoga before I go on stage, so that keeps me nice and calm.
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Most of the time, when I'm writing, I'm writing for myself. I'm thinking, 'What will my character say at this time? What will come out of her mouth?' I create individuals so real to me, I sometimes start talking to them. Then I let them loose on the page.
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I've got so much in my brain and I want to change the way we think sometimes.
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You need a good fantasy to boost arousal enough to climax... thinking about what you should make for dinner tomorrow during sex is not going to do it.
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I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.