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I haven't got time in my life to do all the things I should be doing, like running and dieting and decorating my house, buying some furniture.
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I'd much rather have sat there and just been a fly on the wall, instead of having to smile at people. I'd rather have been a waitress. Just gone round and stared at people.
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My job gives me the attention I'd otherwise crave.
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The reason they keep it so tight is that no one liked them, so that without each other, actually, they couldn't exist. They support each other. They support their flaws and everything else.
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I can remember the first face-lift show that came on. I rang up everyone - are you watching? I'm watching.
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I've never had Botox. But I like people to imagine I have.
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I'm my own worst critic. I could tell the critics a thing or two about my shows.
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I think when Madonna did sexy stuff, she looked more in control. And I think it looked more like she was breaking boundaries. Today, it feels like it's pandering to everything that's wrong, and I don't think it's nice, especially for young girls.
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You get crushes on people. You have to see them every day in that week. They're a fantastic person, and it could be a man or a woman.
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Men would find it much harder because men have such odd personal relationships with each other. They don't really emotionally connect, whereas women do. I think women become very close.
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There were a lot of areas we didn't cover that I'm hoping to cover if we do some specials. One is to see more of Patsy's home and her home life, which is just the saddest thing.
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I came to the Kardashians a bit late, and I'm still just gob-smacked. Who are these people?
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I write for women because it's the only way I can use what I've experienced. It's good that people like what I write, but I don't want to go down the feminist path.
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Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.
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At home, I relax by gardening, or just pottering.
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I'm a walkawayer. If someone brings me a really crap meal in a restaurant I will tell them it's wonderful and then just never go to the restaurant again. I think that's the best way to do it generally, rather than sit and fight and annoy your head. Just pretend to enjoy it and then leave.
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I think the idea of losing your hair is still very potent, emotional thing.
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The way certain men treat women is influenced by the Internet a lot.
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When I was a child, a lot of my time was spent in Scotland because my mother's Scottish, and we used to go up to Ayrshire and visit relations in a place called Dalry.
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The truth is, you can be honest with your friends - but you just can't be honest with the general public if you want to keep your friends.
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I cannot do confrontation. You know that fight or flight thing? I'm flight. I just don't want the argument.
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Well, I'm lucky because, you see, I'll probably bounce back from this role.
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'The Rocky Horror Show' was actually my first musical love.
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But I think our humour is exactly the same today. Only, we've made rules now. We've said we are not going to do prosthetic make-up scenes, because when they take it off half your face comes off.