Jeremy Hardy Quotes
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For me, ancestry is just one thing that connects us to people, and feeling connected to other people is generally a good thing, as long as one kind of connection does not have primacy over all the others. Heredity, race and nationhood are not the best criteria by which to judge our fellow humans.
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Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.
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It is a stupid observation, but the Labour Party are not an smart lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same town, you would blame bad parenting, wouldn't you all?
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Why don't they just accept that life is sad and cheer up it's not forever.
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The thing that interests me most about family history is the gap between the things we think we know about our families and the realities.
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Have you ever looked at Kylie's teeth? Those teeth are proportional to the teeth of a camel in the mouth of a toddler.
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The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.
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My maternal grandmother had what might be described in a school report as a 'lively imagination.' She told us that she was a direct descendant of Sir Christopher Wren.
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You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.
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Being in the latter stages of life means the morning is unkind to the reflection. It takes a few hours for the creases to fall out. By about 4 P.M., I look quite nice.
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It seems a shallow observation, but… the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?
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If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.
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All socialists have bad backs because we slouch - except when we’re watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.
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Most harm is done by people who are awake.
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I don't get this fashion for happy funerals. He said he wanted all his mates to be in a good mood and smile, and this is a very fashionable idea, that when you die, it's supposed to be a celebration and joyous and everyone laughing, but I want people's lives torn apart when I go. I want to be embalmed and brought out when we have guests.
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… really very critical of hereditary peers, but they - I mean - they've got their faults, but some of those faults have been in the family for generations.
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I love many places to which I have no connection, but identifying an ancestor, or someone I think is an ancestor, has taken me to places I'd never have gone to otherwise.
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On Vince Cable: But he's charming and northern; he's the man tasked with crushing the poor in their own accent, isn't he really?
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The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.
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I think ageing suits me because I was born old, like Spencer Tracy or Dolly the Sheep.
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The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over other things.
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The image of my face I hold in my mind is always about 10 years out of date.
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My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her 'You're eleven, make your own!'