Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
Quotes to Explore
-
We as the Afghan people and government are willing to help Pakistan work for peace in Afghanistan and work for peace in Pakistan, together.
-
Indians are marvelous storytellers. In some ways, that oral tradition is stronger than the written tradition.
-
Caring about policy is important - people in washington forget.
-
When you are growing up, everyone will help you. When you reach the top, everyone will start pulling you down. The same people who help you will be the same people who try to pull you down.
-
In most companies people make a specific contribution to the company in their function. But it is not expressed in terms of profit, only in terms of performing their function better.
-
I like the lasso of truth. There is something so beautiful about the fact that people have to tell the truth when they have the lasso around them. And it's not too violent.
-
Home is the nicest word there is.
-
All these police treating our people wrong, man. Black lives matter, but we got fans of all different colors, so all lives matter.
-
I have decided that I won't take up assignments that don't interest me.
-
I never get tired of performing to people who want to hear me. Hell, that's my handshake to the world. I'm doing just what I've wanted to do since that day I was 15 and heard Lenny Breau play the guitar.
-
When people accept breaking the law as normal, something happens to the whole society.
-
The genuine truth, and I do think about this a lot, is that I'm one of the least competitive people you'll ever meet. Except with myself.
-
My older brother, Jake, and I had a bohemian childhood. My parents are deeply unconventional people from the beatnik generation. They weren't married, and I thought that was normal. We called them by their first names.
-
I'm at peace with myself. The main thing is not letting people dictate what I do or what I am.
-
I know a lot of people who say they want to leave Tulsa and go off to L.A. or New York City. But I can't wait to come back to Tulsa. It's a great place to be.
-
I never wanted to be a trophy wife. I wanted to make it on my own. I didn't want to depend on a man.
-
I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want.
-
If you're playing a good guy, you show some darkness. If you're playing a dark guy, you show something different, like humor, that will mix it up and hopefully surpass the audience's expectations. What I'm battling all the time is complacency in the audience. I try to bring a little mystery to what might happen because that engages people more.
-
I am a five-foot six-inch, dark, ordinary-looking man. People didn't imagine that I would make it.
-
I'm not very good at going to parties and looking like I'm having fun.
-
Life is not linear, it is organic. We create our lives symbiotically as we explore our talents in relation to the circumstances they help create for us.
-
One thing everyone seems to agree on is that Republicans face a perceived compassion deficit.
-
No one asks the cow or the chicken where it gets its protein. I eat about 4,000 or 5,000 calories a day, and I cook for myself. I also have a line of cooks that work with me - some raw, some vegan.
-
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
