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Once you become poor, tired and time-constrained, you become a much better human being.
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When I learned that flour pound for pound has as many calories as sugar, and that when eating pasta you're basically eating cake, I was size 23, and my neck was restricting my breathing, and so I got on a microbiotic diet and got myself an exercise bike.
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Simultaneously, my two biggest heroes are Susan Sontag and Morticia Addams from 'The Addams Family.'
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The thing is, one in three women in the Western world will end up having an abortion, but they never talk about it. When you keep silent about that stuff, it is because you are embarrassed by the societal distaste of the topic.
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I can honestly say that my abortion was one of the least difficult decisions of my life. I'm not being flippant when I say it took me longer to decide what worktops to have in the kitchen than whether I was prepared to spend the rest of my life being responsible for a further human being.
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I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup.
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My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.
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I think there are brilliant jokes to be made about abortion, and we should be able to talk about this in the way that we make jokes about death - you should be able to make jokes about everything.
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What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy, and smug they might be.
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If you read all your history books, there are no women in them.
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Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.
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I'm so glad I spent 10 years being sad and lonely.
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I'm quite British; I've got big, flat feet, and I can't wear heels. I've got very, very pale Celtic skin, so my legs are always a frightening blue color. So when you take out clothes that reveal your legs, shoes that have any kind of heel, no shop will actually take my money.
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Telly never has any smart, amusing intellectuals living on a council estate.
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I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want.
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Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about.
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You can crush any woman by suggesting that she's fat, not even saying the word 'fat' but just suggesting she's fat.
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I've generally got low levels of embarrassment.
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I don't think that women being seen as inferior is a prejudice based on male hatred of women. When you look at history, it's a prejudice based on simple fact.
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The doughy-faced woman has been forced to sit on the sidelines of culture for too long, and it's now time for us to stand up with our big round faces like the moon and say we have things to say, too. We have a round-faced agenda we want to push.
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I think that instead of feminism being a political thing, it should be an act of creativity. It's more of a rock n' roll thing.
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You can be socially accepted and tell the truth about what it is to be a woman.
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We think of feminism as an academic subject, but it's not. If you think feminism is academic, you think there's a right or wrong.
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I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.