Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
Quotes to Explore
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It was a great opportunity that I had to take - my very own theater. That comes along once in a lifetime. It doesn't even seem like 15 years ago - time sure flies by. I've really had a lot of fun with it.
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When I started out back in Louisville, there was Harry Collins. He was my first teacher. He saw that I was so obsessed with magic that he taught me the love of magic.
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I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
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For me, if I'm just killing time, I play solitaire. I'm also guilty of playing Snood. I like games where I can shoot balls and match colors.
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It is absolutely critical for competitiveness in the United States for us to really raise the bar in education, especially in math, in science, in technology.
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It's tough to be 68 and dating. I've given it up now.
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Tragedy is like strong acid - it dissolves away all but the very gold of truth.
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I hear odd tracks from my albums every now and again on the radio, or maybe a friend plays me something.
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My father was raised in the mountains of New Mexico, and he picked cotton for a dollar a day. He was working for the family from the time he was 7.
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I have been interested in fashion since I was a kid. Then I lived in London, where it was more about costume and a personal statement of who you are than about fashion.
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What gunpowder did for war the printing press has done for the mind.
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It makes sense to have cameras in places where terrorism and crime are of particular concern - such as in Times Square or near major bridges and tunnels. It would be more troubling to learn, however, that the government has focused cameras on the front doors of our homes just to keep track of our comings and goings.
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You ask any person in the U.S. and they know who Mary Lou Retton is.
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The emperor is in the Church, not above the Church.
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What I want to do is tell stories about normal people in the American suburbs. I don't write the book where it's a conspiracy reaching the prime minister; I don't write the book with the big serial killer who lops off heads. My setting is a very placid pool of suburbia, family life. And within that I can make pretty big splashes.
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I love Dr. Hauschka's blue mascara. It's not so blue that it's like, 'What's wrong with you?' It's more like a secret that you're wearing it.
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Possessions. The very word is potent - suggestive as it is of ownership both material and erotic. To possess. Possession. Possessed.
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If you hear me out, I believe you'll discover that what motivates me more than any other issue is the defense of everyone's rights.
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I'm fascinated by power, especially veiled power. Shadow power. The National Security Agency. The National Reconnaissance Office. Opus Dei. The idea that everything happens for reasons we're not quite seeing.
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An SS came toward us wielding a club. He commanded:'Men to the left! Women to the right!'Eight words spoken quietly, indifferently, without emotion. Eight simple, short words. Yet that was the moment when I left my mother. There was no time to think, and I already felt my father's hand press against mine: we were alone.
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Getting recognized on the street is fine, but I never really wanted to be famous. I just wanted to have mastered the art of sketch comedy.
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I'm more interested in politicians who deal with human rights in their own country rather than lecture the rest of the world.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
