Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none.

Jim Gaffigan

• Thinking
• Art
• Situation
• Form

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• The difference between an actor and a star is the budget and the overall presentation of a film.

  

  Nawazuddin Siddiqui
  • Star
  • Budget
  • Presentation

• I've always liked to dress up; I've always liked to look good. You look good, you feel good, you play good.

  

  Odell Beckham, Jr.
  • Up
  • Good
  • Dress

• There was a special challenge in describing the awful childhood of a person who happens to be my own husband. It was very painful at times, for both of us.

  

  Pamela Stephenson
  • Challenge
  • Childhood
  • Husband

• Being famous was extremely disappointing for me. When I became famous it was a complete drag and it is still a complete drag.

  

  Van Morrison
  • Me
  • Famous
  • Disappointing

• Even as our economy starts to pick up, and new jobs are created, there is a risk that young people in Britain won't get the chances they deserve because businesses will continue to look elsewhere.

  

  Iain Duncan Smith
  • People
  • Up
  • Risk

• I've always had tremendous support from my parents. I think there's a myth that gay people have lousy relationships with their parents.

  

  B. D. Wong
  • People
  • Parents
  • Support

• I remember 'Hannah Montana' came out, and I was so depressed, I started crying because I was like, 'I want to do that.'

  

  Zendaya
  • Remember
  • Want
  • Like

• I am a self-critical perfectionist.

  

  Victoria Pendleton
  • Perfectionist
  • Self-Critical

• If America is truly Israel's greatest ally, we should not be asking it to put its citizens and future at risk by forcing the establishment of a hostile Palestinian state as the only option.

  

  Adam Hasner
  • America
  • Future
  • Risk

• It feels nice to be loved, but let me tell you there are 10 times more better looking, stylish and talented guys than me. So there's no solid reason for me to be proud! I don't think I have done anything extraordinary to change people's lives.

  

  Salman Khan
  • People
  • Done
  • Change

• We need to start looking at having a way of managing the whole ecosystem, because you can't pick away at it piece by piece, you have to truly start being coordinated and managing our resources as a system. We haven't gotten to that point yet.

  

  Ted Danson
  • You
  • Start
  • Looking

• I live in England, so I take a lot of trains, and you can't really go anywhere without somebody talking on their mobile phone behind you, forcing you to listen to their conversation. With the Internet, with texting, with networking sites, there's already information everywhere.

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Live
  • Networking

• Lovers should also have their days off.

  

  Natalie Clifford Barney
  • Lovers
  • Days
  • Off

• What I care about is readers because without readers I can't make a living... And I think it's a bad thing for the world if people don't read anymore. I want people to read a lot.

  

  Barry Eisler
  • People
  • World
  • Bad

• Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • English
  • Baseball
  • Italian

• The essential function of art is moral. But a passionate, implicit morality, not didactic. A morality which changes the blood, rather than the mind.

  

  D. H. Lawrence
  • Mind
  • Art
  • Moral

• It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.

  

  Pablo Picasso
  • Life
  • Work
  • Ultimate

• Going to Europe as a budding cook opened my eyes to food in a different way. When I got to Italy, the first thing I did was put my little basil plants in the ground and watch them turn into big, healthy bushes.

  

  Frances Mayes
  • Different
  • Food
  • Eyes

• I wasn't making music consciously when I was younger. I was a musician, but that has its own stigmas. Anywhere on the planet, it's one of the more undervalued positions.

  

  Keinan Abdi Warsame
  • Music
  • More
  • Planet

• I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14.00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it's probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.

  

  Ian MacKaye
  • People
  • Thinking
  • Money

• I have not seen 'Legally Blonde.' I must be in the small, ever-dwindling minority on that one.

  

  Alfred Enoch
  • Small
  • Blonde

• Those are the kind of guys you build your program around. He's a warrior.

  

  Brad Soderberg
  • Build
  • Program
  • Warrior

• During the long stretches of quiet two-lane highway, with the sun setting in the distance, it was somehow easier to say things aloud, and regardless of what was said, we just kept moving toward that horizon.

  

  Sarah Dessen
  • Long
  • Moving
  • Distance

• Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Thinking
  • Art
  • Situation