Jim Gaffigan Quotes
As I go on in standup, I keep being described as cleaner and cleaner as I do each hour, they're like, 'It's unbelievable how clean,' 'He's the cleanest person in the world.' And then I'll do shows and people will be like, 'You're supposed to be so clean, but you're talking about cancer.'

Quotes to Explore
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I was involved with drama departments since the 5th grade. I played at it. It was an escape.
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It would be hard to ignore the absence of democracy in any Arab nation.
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I listen to 'deep dish house'.
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Here or henceforward it is all the same to me, I accept Time absolutely.
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The nature of good fiction is that it dwells in ambiguity.
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You know something, if you're not acting, you're not an actor - you've gotta work. No way around it.
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All achievements, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea.
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I just go in the studio and write on the spot and see what comes out.
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Always just remember that you can never know all; you're always going to be learning; there's always going to be something new. I don't think you'll ever have it all figured out.
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I've always had this sneaking suspicion that I get a kick out of the insecurity.
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You have to train people how to be business innovators. If you don't train them, the quality of the ideas that you get in an innovation marketplace is not likely to be high.
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Take heed, then, often to come together to give thanks to God, and show forth His praise. For when you assemble frequently in the same place, the powers of Satan are destroyed, and the destruction at which he aims is prevented by the unity of your faith.
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When I was 11, I decided to start rapping, playing guitar, and writing songs. Everything really blossomed from there.
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When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're in shorts and T-shirts. And it's not just on airplanes. It's in business offices, teachers' lounges, and churches.
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It would be ridiculous to say I don't want to sell records, but I trust my taste.
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There wasn't so many ISSUES like there are today. It was a simpler time.
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Sometimes I think that when people become famous, there's a public perception that they are not human beings any more. They don't have feelings; they don't get hurt; you can act and say as you like about them.
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Many people in the West do not realise how oppressive some Muslim states are - both for men and for women. This is a cultural issue, not an Islamic one.
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I'm not selling a dream; I'm not selling fame like it is some sort of fantastic thing.
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People need to know that they are not alone, that they have not been abandoned; but that there is One Who loves them for what they are, Who cares about them.
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She hopes for nothing except fine weather and a resolution. She wants to end properly, like a good sentence.
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The holy trifecta of directing and filmmaking is character emotion, camera movement and music. When you hit those three, that's magical. That's what I'm trying to do.
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As I go on in standup, I keep being described as cleaner and cleaner as I do each hour, they're like, 'It's unbelievable how clean,' 'He's the cleanest person in the world.' And then I'll do shows and people will be like, 'You're supposed to be so clean, but you're talking about cancer.'