Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I do have friends who make movies, but for the most part, I never really wanted to feel like I was part of an industry.
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I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny.
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I just mean it's very difficult for me to watch my work, in some ways, because I am critical of what I didn't get across or I thought I was making one point.
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We clearly realize that freedom's inner kingdom cannot be touched by exterior attacks.
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I lost my faith in God when I lost my daughter to Cancer, the beast. I begged, I cried, I offered my life for hers, and day by day, I watched that beautiful little Angel slip off. So, excuse me for not taking my seat next to you on Sunday in Church, I feel too cheated to worship.
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I like David Lynch; I like Stanley Kubrick. I'm a big fan of Kubrick.
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Ants are more like the parts of an animal than entities on their own. They are mobile cells, circulating through a dense connective tissue of other ants in a matrix of twigs. The circuits are so intimately interwoven that the anthill meets all the essential criteria of an organism.
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Plus the public's attention span is so short right now, if a skater doesn't strike while the iron is hot... well it's not like people will forget you, but they just won't care anymore.
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I'm actually a huge fan of changing every single 'anti-Trump' sentiment to 'pro-human rights' because they are synonymous.
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I would love to work in America. I wouldn't love to live there, but I'd love to experience working there.
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But I went to the University of Texas in the 30s, and while there I learned to ride. Mostly polo ponies.
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Today, the Federal minimum wage purchases less than it has at any point in the last 50 years. Let me repeat: The Federal minimum wage purchases less than it has at any point in the last 50 years.
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Friends would not say I'm a laid-back person by any means.
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There are a lot of downsides to being male. We age faster and die younger. But give us this: we're lifetime baby-making machines. Women's reproductive abilities start to wane when they're as young as 35. Men? We're good to go pretty much till we're dead.
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I have been in love, and in debt, and in drink, this many and many a year.
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Yeah, I'd done a bunch of pilots. Some that had gone for a while. One that went for 13 episodes. But I had never been on a show that had lasted more than that.
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Facebook is about sharing experiences that you've had. Foursquare is more about the present tense and the future tense.
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When you're educated, you must offer others a road to success.
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Friendship, harmony, and leadership - pushin' people, just givin' people that push, like I would expect them to do for me, they'd do the same for me in return.
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A lot of the material is about the inevitable disappointment people feel as they move through life, and things don’t feel the way they expect. No experience will ever match up to the idealized version in your mind.
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My main disappointment in not appearing in the 'Face to Face' video , at the time, would be… did you see how much makeup the boys were allowed to wear!
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?
