Jim Gaffigan Quotes
The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?

Quotes to Explore
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The effect of liberty to individuals is that they may do what they please: we ought to see what it will please them to do, before we risk congratulations.
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It is the function of vice to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.
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Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.
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My character in 'True Grit' would set these goals for herself that seemed near impossible, but to her they were possible. She was never going to believe anything else other than that.
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I'm still dreaming to be the next Missy Elliott.
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I had an ethnic preference, if you will, for the warm weather, coming from Chennai. So I finally said, 'Look, can I move to California?' because every time I come here, it would be in the 70s or 80s, and there would be beautiful blue sky and warm.
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I no longer limit myself.
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I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat.
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action, and filled with noble risks, is worth whole years of those mean observances of paltry decorum, in which men steal through existence, like sluggish waters through a marsh, without either honor or observation.
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When you're 16, the top of the world is directing a gangster movie.
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China is still the fastest growing economy in the world, but we need to learn how to use money in a better way, and it's about quality, not quantity.
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I have dangerous bones in my body.
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I love figure skating and what I am able to express creatively. I want to leave a legacy in the sport.
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To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead.
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The things I learned from the army - and I think it was a lesson for life - was how to work in unison with other people. How to take responsibility.
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Time is important to me because I want to sing long enough to leave a message. I'm used to singing in churches where nobody would dare stop me until the Lord arrives!
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People get to choose who they follow, so they follow me for me. It's super humbling and awesome.
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Winning the 2007 Master's was a dream fulfilled; culminating on Easter Sunday with my family was very special. You couldn't write it up any better.
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In fantasy, impossible things exist. In science fiction, impossible things exist and can be understood by humans. In supernatural horror, impossible things exist and cannot live in peace with humans.
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Art is one of the dirtiest words in our language; it's mucked up with all kinds of meanings. There's the art of plumbing; there's the art of almost anything that you can say.
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A wise man does not chatter with one whose mind is sick.
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The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?