Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• The reason for not getting married was that I just didn't have a partner to get married to. Climbing mountains was more attractive to me than marriage, or other fun things like that.

  

  Tamae Watanabe
  • Fun
  • Reason
  • Marriage

• I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

  

  e. e. cummings
  • Learning
  • Dance
  • Stars

• I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Life
  • Men
  • Political

• We live in an inter-dependent world. An isolated India is not in our interest.

  

  Narendra Modi
  • World
  • Live
  • India

• I want to keep a thread between the studio and the stage, and I want to flow more easily from one to the other.

  

  Damien Rice
  • Want
  • Stage
  • Flow

• Every body about me seem'd happy but every body seem'd in a hurry to be happy somewhere else.

  

  Hannah Cowley
  • Happy
  • Me
  • Be Happy

• You're going to have some ups and downs, so you have to prepare yourself to be ready. Those down moments come.

  

  Pablo Sandoval
  • Moments
  • Yourself
  • Ups And Downs

• I'd been touring for so long, seven years. For a year and a half I'd just been curious about what it was like not to tour. It's like if you were to lift a 100-pound barbell with your right arm for seven years, eventually you'd get really curious about what your left arm was capable of.

  

  Feist
  • Long
  • Year
  • Curious

• If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

  

  Larry Gelbart
  • Television
  • Box
  • Had

• My dad met my mom at Casper College in the orientation line. He studied business and eventually transferred to the University of Wyoming at Laramie.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Business
  • Dad
  • College

• For a black male, the sound of the blues is pre-Civil Rights. It's oppression.

  

  Gary Clark Jr.
  • Black
  • Blues
  • Oppression

• I've written a screenplay that is a series of monologues and songs; they form this sort of human tapestry across time and place. The form is strange, but I find it really fascinating.

  

  Patrick Wang
  • Time
  • Find
  • Strange

• I always believed in if you give your best, people will see it, and it moves to the next level. I got my first movie, and I gave it my best. Before I was done with that movie, I was offered my first feature film.

  

  Adam Beach
  • People
  • Done
  • Movie

• Deep inside, I was hoping I'd win: The competition was tough, but I learned from other's mistakes.

  

  Nafisa Joseph
  • Deep
  • Competition
  • Mistakes

• I have always been grateful to Colonel Longley. He proved to me that when people in authority take a stand, good can come out of it.

  

  Jackie Robinson
  • People
  • Good
  • Grateful

• I'm excellent at losing weight, but I've never been excellent at maintenance. I have some better days than others in terms of being hypervigilant, but with maintenance you don't know if you've been good at it until you're done.

  

  Valerie Bertinelli
  • Good
  • Done
  • Better

• There are those who seem to feel they have no choice about being jerks in the present because they had a crappy childhood. Well, that's the definition of childhood; nobody gets out alive. You either get stronger from what you experience, or you turn it into a crutch, an excuse, a dodge.

  

  J. Michael Straczynski
  • Experience
  • Present
  • Childhood

• There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.

  

  Warren Buffett
  • Human
  • Difficult
  • Easy

• I ain't never seen no talking winning nothing. Been like that since I was little. I was raised like that.

  

  Marshawn Lynch
  • Winning

• In addition to needed gun control reforms, America urgently needs a stronger protest movement dedicated to reducing the glorification of violence in our culture - in music, film, television, video games, and even the Internet.

  

  Bernice King
  • Music
  • America
  • Culture

• One of my initial memories of being taken over by music was watching Paul McCartney on TV play a tribute to John Lennon. He was playing piano by himself and singing 'Imagine,' and I remember feeling an anxiety and shortness of breath.

  

  Nathaniel Rateliff
  • Music
  • Remember
  • Feeling

• Pooh looked at his two paws. He knew that one of them was the right, and he knew that when you had decided which one of them was the right, then the other one was the left, but he never could remember how to begin.

  

  A. A. Milne
  • Remember

• Remember, the greater the opportunity, the fewer are those who see it.

  

  James Cook
  • Remember
  • Opportunity
  • Fewer

• Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Remember
  • Likes
  • Grammar