Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• The reason for not getting married was that I just didn't have a partner to get married to. Climbing mountains was more attractive to me than marriage, or other fun things like that.

  

  Tamae Watanabe
  • Fun
  • Reason
  • Marriage

• I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

  

  e. e. cummings
  • Learning
  • Dance
  • Stars

• I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Life
  • Men
  • Political

• We live in an inter-dependent world. An isolated India is not in our interest.

  

  Narendra Modi
  • World
  • Live
  • India

• I want to keep a thread between the studio and the stage, and I want to flow more easily from one to the other.

  

  Damien Rice
  • Want
  • Stage
  • Flow

• Every body about me seem'd happy but every body seem'd in a hurry to be happy somewhere else.

  

  Hannah Cowley
  • Happy
  • Me
  • Be Happy

• You're going to have some ups and downs, so you have to prepare yourself to be ready. Those down moments come.

  

  Pablo Sandoval
  • Moments
  • Yourself
  • Ups And Downs

• I'd been touring for so long, seven years. For a year and a half I'd just been curious about what it was like not to tour. It's like if you were to lift a 100-pound barbell with your right arm for seven years, eventually you'd get really curious about what your left arm was capable of.

  

  Feist
  • Long
  • Year
  • Curious

• If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

  

  Larry Gelbart
  • Television
  • Box
  • Had

• My dad met my mom at Casper College in the orientation line. He studied business and eventually transferred to the University of Wyoming at Laramie.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Business
  • Dad
  • College

• For a black male, the sound of the blues is pre-Civil Rights. It's oppression.

  

  Gary Clark Jr.
  • Black
  • Blues
  • Oppression

• I've written a screenplay that is a series of monologues and songs; they form this sort of human tapestry across time and place. The form is strange, but I find it really fascinating.

  

  Patrick Wang
  • Time
  • Find
  • Strange

• I always believed in if you give your best, people will see it, and it moves to the next level. I got my first movie, and I gave it my best. Before I was done with that movie, I was offered my first feature film.

  

  Adam Beach
  • People
  • Done
  • Movie

• I have always been grateful to Colonel Longley. He proved to me that when people in authority take a stand, good can come out of it.

  

  Jackie Robinson
  • People
  • Good
  • Grateful

• I'm excellent at losing weight, but I've never been excellent at maintenance. I have some better days than others in terms of being hypervigilant, but with maintenance you don't know if you've been good at it until you're done.

  

  Valerie Bertinelli
  • Good
  • Done
  • Better

• There are those who seem to feel they have no choice about being jerks in the present because they had a crappy childhood. Well, that's the definition of childhood; nobody gets out alive. You either get stronger from what you experience, or you turn it into a crutch, an excuse, a dodge.

  

  J. Michael Straczynski
  • Experience
  • Present
  • Childhood

• There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.

  

  Warren Buffett
  • Human
  • Difficult
  • Easy

• Adequacy is sufficient.

  

  Adam Osborne
  • Sufficient
  • Adequacy

• Deja vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God.

  

  Corey Brent Penn
  • God
  • Rap
  • Hip Hop

• Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions. And that's what we have to change first. We have to change our politics, and come together around our common interests and concerns as Americans.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Up
  • Money
  • Together

• The actual, original 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,' I have vague memories of because I was pretty small, but I loved, loved, loved it. I have only those weird, visceral little-kid memories: I remember the extreme flat, two dimensional green that was their skin or the weird pizza with no sauce - it was just like yellow, drippy cheese.

  

  Mae Whitman
  • Remember
  • Pretty
  • Small

• I remember, around age three, peas growing in the back garden. Pinching them from their pods and popping them in the mouth was my first realisation that food came from somewhere other than a shelf.

  

  Caitlin Moran
  • Remember
  • Age
  • Growing

• Two things to remember in life: take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take are of your words when you are with people.

  

  Lorde
  • People
  • Life
  • Remember

• Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Remember
  • Likes
  • Grammar