Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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The reason for not getting married was that I just didn't have a partner to get married to. Climbing mountains was more attractive to me than marriage, or other fun things like that.
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I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.
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I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.
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We live in an inter-dependent world. An isolated India is not in our interest.
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I want to keep a thread between the studio and the stage, and I want to flow more easily from one to the other.
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Every body about me seem'd happy but every body seem'd in a hurry to be happy somewhere else.
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You're going to have some ups and downs, so you have to prepare yourself to be ready. Those down moments come.
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I'd been touring for so long, seven years. For a year and a half I'd just been curious about what it was like not to tour. It's like if you were to lift a 100-pound barbell with your right arm for seven years, eventually you'd get really curious about what your left arm was capable of.
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If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.
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My dad met my mom at Casper College in the orientation line. He studied business and eventually transferred to the University of Wyoming at Laramie.
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For a black male, the sound of the blues is pre-Civil Rights. It's oppression.
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I've written a screenplay that is a series of monologues and songs; they form this sort of human tapestry across time and place. The form is strange, but I find it really fascinating.
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I always believed in if you give your best, people will see it, and it moves to the next level. I got my first movie, and I gave it my best. Before I was done with that movie, I was offered my first feature film.
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I have always been grateful to Colonel Longley. He proved to me that when people in authority take a stand, good can come out of it.
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I'm excellent at losing weight, but I've never been excellent at maintenance. I have some better days than others in terms of being hypervigilant, but with maintenance you don't know if you've been good at it until you're done.
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There are those who seem to feel they have no choice about being jerks in the present because they had a crappy childhood. Well, that's the definition of childhood; nobody gets out alive. You either get stronger from what you experience, or you turn it into a crutch, an excuse, a dodge.
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There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.
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Adequacy is sufficient.
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The richest people are those who have life arranged so they have food for the family and the rent or mortgage paid. After that, at least in my case, it can become a pretty boring existence if wealth is the only objective.
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I was not a very good mother. I was always running out to do a movie or something. If I had to do it over, I would either have a career or children. I wouldn't do both unless I could work in my home. I spent 20 years feeling guilty, which is not a very nice emotion.
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A shot of brandy can save your life, but a bottle of brandy can kill you.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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The universe is a multi-dimension al creative process, constantly forming new facets of possibility for you and all living things. Expanding our awareness of the process, we allow ourselves to experience more of it. Every moment we can remember that ANYTHING is possible in a realm of endless possibility.
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Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
