Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• The reason for not getting married was that I just didn't have a partner to get married to. Climbing mountains was more attractive to me than marriage, or other fun things like that.

  

  Tamae Watanabe
  • Fun
  • Reason
  • Marriage

• I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

  

  e. e. cummings
  • Learning
  • Dance
  • Stars

• I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Life
  • Men
  • Political

• We live in an inter-dependent world. An isolated India is not in our interest.

  

  Narendra Modi
  • World
  • Live
  • India

• I want to keep a thread between the studio and the stage, and I want to flow more easily from one to the other.

  

  Damien Rice
  • Want
  • Stage
  • Flow

• Every body about me seem'd happy but every body seem'd in a hurry to be happy somewhere else.

  

  Hannah Cowley
  • Happy
  • Me
  • Be Happy

• You're going to have some ups and downs, so you have to prepare yourself to be ready. Those down moments come.

  

  Pablo Sandoval
  • Moments
  • Yourself
  • Ups And Downs

• I'd been touring for so long, seven years. For a year and a half I'd just been curious about what it was like not to tour. It's like if you were to lift a 100-pound barbell with your right arm for seven years, eventually you'd get really curious about what your left arm was capable of.

  

  Feist
  • Long
  • Year
  • Curious

• If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

  

  Larry Gelbart
  • Television
  • Box
  • Had

• My dad met my mom at Casper College in the orientation line. He studied business and eventually transferred to the University of Wyoming at Laramie.

  

  Dana Perino
  • Business
  • Dad
  • College

• For a black male, the sound of the blues is pre-Civil Rights. It's oppression.

  

  Gary Clark Jr.
  • Black
  • Blues
  • Oppression

• I've written a screenplay that is a series of monologues and songs; they form this sort of human tapestry across time and place. The form is strange, but I find it really fascinating.

  

  Patrick Wang
  • Time
  • Find
  • Strange

• I always believed in if you give your best, people will see it, and it moves to the next level. I got my first movie, and I gave it my best. Before I was done with that movie, I was offered my first feature film.

  

  Adam Beach
  • People
  • Done
  • Movie

• I have always been grateful to Colonel Longley. He proved to me that when people in authority take a stand, good can come out of it.

  

  Jackie Robinson
  • People
  • Good
  • Grateful

• I'm excellent at losing weight, but I've never been excellent at maintenance. I have some better days than others in terms of being hypervigilant, but with maintenance you don't know if you've been good at it until you're done.

  

  Valerie Bertinelli
  • Good
  • Done
  • Better

• There are those who seem to feel they have no choice about being jerks in the present because they had a crappy childhood. Well, that's the definition of childhood; nobody gets out alive. You either get stronger from what you experience, or you turn it into a crutch, an excuse, a dodge.

  

  J. Michael Straczynski
  • Experience
  • Present
  • Childhood

• There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.

  

  Warren Buffett
  • Human
  • Difficult
  • Easy

• Adequacy is sufficient.

  

  Adam Osborne
  • Sufficient
  • Adequacy

• Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which the hair often falls out and the teeth decay. I'm always irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It is a plunge into reality and it's very shocking to the system.

  

  Flannery O'Connor
  • People
  • Writing
  • Experience

• I still think the world is better off and safer without Saddam Hussein.

  

  Tony Blair
  • World

• I worked at all kinds of jobs, mostly commercial editing.

  

  Marilyn Hacker

• I remember it when I used to go out, I used to dress as Superman, but then I used to dress as Superman dressed as Clark Kent. So, actually, I would be like a little seven-year-old boy going out in a business suit. But I would never expose the fact that I was Superman, but I knew, that should there be any trouble, I could take care of it.

  

  James Veitch
  • Business
  • Remember
  • Boy

• I grew up in the Baptist Church, and going to church with my father; I remember being 8 years old, trying to determine whether I was really ready to give up sin, and for days I agonized.

  

  Oprah Winfrey
  • Up
  • Trying
  • Remember

• Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Remember
  • Likes
  • Grammar