Jimmy Fallon Quotes
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When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
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I like being absurd. Being silly.
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I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.
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Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
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In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.
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When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.
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'Moldova: Yes or No?' That's a great app, and we actually used the geo-locator on your phone, so if you are in Moldova, it will say 'Yes, you're in Moldova.' I'm so excited. People need that. That's the whole point. The whole reason you buy a $500 phone is to see if you are... in Moldova. Or not.
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Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.
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I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
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I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.
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Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
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Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.
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Actually, it's tough, because he's not really screwing up. He seems to be doing a good job, but we're there just in case - the first time he does anything.
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I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'
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I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'
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Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
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Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.
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Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, 'Hi, I'm over 80 years old.'
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I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.
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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
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My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass.
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I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.
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I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.
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I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.