Jimmy Fallon Quotes
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Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
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When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
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I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do.
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I like being absurd. Being silly.
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Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
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In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.
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When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.
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I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.
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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
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'Moldova: Yes or No?' That's a great app, and we actually used the geo-locator on your phone, so if you are in Moldova, it will say 'Yes, you're in Moldova.' I'm so excited. People need that. That's the whole point. The whole reason you buy a $500 phone is to see if you are... in Moldova. Or not.
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I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.
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Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.
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On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'
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I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
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You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
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I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.
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Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.
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I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'
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If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.
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Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, 'Hi, I'm over 80 years old.'
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Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
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I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with.
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Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.
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I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.